nothingness

2010-10-14T17:10:00.001+08:00

2010-09-22T21:41:00.001+08:00

LIFE is short and unpredictable.

R.I.P Nim

Tired at 130am

2010-08-22T01:30:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, you can never get what you want.

Sometimes, you just aren't working hard enough.

But most of the time, you'll not know which is which.

Already Too Tired to Even Sigh

2010-05-30T00:52:00.000+08:00

Somehow, things never get easy for me.

Like a enormously endothermic reaction, everything that I do must be faced with huge resistance. While I can try my best to overcome the barrier each time, I only possess a finite amount of energy, which I feel will be depleted sooner than I expect.

Sometimes, I just want things go be a little simpler and a little easier. Just so I can have the time and energy to enjoy the beautiful things in life. I don't suppose that is too muh to ask for.

Perhaps my misfortunes are the consequence of my own follies. Case in point: had I not applied for the ntu scholarship, I would not need to be pressurized by financial constraints to go there. Perhaps I'll just need to find some other way to finance my university education at NUS (which already is a second best choice since I really want to go to Virginia). I try to keep the faith that I am not so unlucky/undeserving that I would have to go to a school that is worst than my sub-optimal choice. But then again, circumstances often triumph over whatever little faith that I have left.

If there were a supernatural being who actually believes in free will, I hope he would let me do what i want, for this time, it's for the right reasons. Let me do what I do best, and I promise I'll return the favor somehow. If not, he can suck it.

Now, it would be most appreciated if you can give be an obvious sign by Monday. Thanks a lot.

FUCK YOU WORLD

2010-05-03T22:16:00.001+08:00

as it says.

Choose Chose Chosen... Not

2010-05-03T00:57:00.000+08:00

I think I know what I am going to do in my life.

And yet I wonder if I had made the right choice; if that is really what I want and what I will excel in.

Isn't it a little too early to know what I want? After all, it's a complicated and confusing world out there.

I suddenly feel insecure about my choices and I wish there were a higher power to guide me along my journey.

Imagine a blinding light exposing your destiny in front of you. Wouldn't that just be awesome. Yet, few have the gift of clairyovance. Most of us just stumble along the way like blind mice, feeling our ways around this cruel and dangerous world. Like said mice, I have fallen into numerous potholes. As a result, I know where I shouldn't have gone. But I still haven't had the faintest idea of where I should head next!

Oh fml.

Fweiluer

2010-04-30T23:08:00.000+08:00

I think I have a poor stomach for uncertainty.

And a poorer aptitude for thinking on my feet.

And I hate that I cannot make good decisions quickly.

I resent myself for not being able to spin good stories spontaneously.

I think I failed terribly.

But every bad experience is a lesson learned.

Maybe I can try again next time.

Or perhaps the fates would be kind to me.

I only hope for the latter.

S.S.D.D

2010-02-16T21:00:00.000+08:00

Same Shit Different Day.

Since the start of the Lunar Year, I've become a year older. Yet, I don't feel much older. 19, 20? It doesn't really matter. I'm still doing the same shit that I've been doing for the past year.

Have I learnt anything from serving the organisation for a year now? No. Not really. If anything, I've learnt that it's something that I will never ever do willingly. Call me unpatriotic, but I believe there are far more endeavors that are worthy of my time and effort.

Anyway, I'm glad I have people who are there for me along this overly long and arduous journey.

The future is uncertain. But I like to believe I will be lucky.

The Fourth Horseman

2010-01-29T02:04:00.004+08:00

The winds scream wildly, carrying the scent of death to lands far beyond.

Over the horizon, one man advances towards the city.

With each step that he takes, a thousand thunders roar.

The winds now cower in fear.

The man stops in front of the city gates and the world turns silent, save the frantic heartbeats of those inside the city.

Methodically, the man unsheathes his sword.

With a huge swing, the man splits the earth open and unleashes all of hell’s evils unto Man’s world.

Filled with hunger, anger, and lust, the unearthly creatures slam the city gates.

Within seconds, the wooden structure splinters and a brutal massacre begins.

***

The soldiers were the first to fall.

Their heads separated from their bodies and their intestines splattered onto the plaster walls.

The men followed soon after; the fates of their carcasses no different from the soldiers’.

The women were spared the mercy of death.

The demons would never forgo the opportunity to ravage the most exquisite of God's creation.

God bless their broken souls.

***

(TBC)

Of Reasons and Animals

2010-01-15T20:47:00.000+08:00

Everyone loves the lion.

It is aggressive, fearless, courageous and formidable.

It is a natural leader, king of the jungle.

Nobody likes the weasel.

Timid and opportunistic.

A cunning little creature that scurries for cover at the slightest sign of danger.

When Man comes to the jungle, he seeks to hunt the magnificent beast.

True to their natures, the lion puts up a ferocious fight while the weasel hides in its hole.

But in the end, the fangs of the defender were no match for the attacker’s spears.

The hunters skinned and de-maned the impaled beast.

Satisfied, they left the ravaged carcass.

Slowly and cautiously, the weasel sticks its head outside.

He looks around for danger.

Sensing no pending predicament, the weasel scurries to the carcass and steals a piece of the decaying flesh.

A delicious dinner.

***
I admire the weasel and I guess that’s why I’d never meet their needs.

Like the weasel, I must wait for another opportunity.

The Fat Boy

2010-01-05T21:05:00.001+08:00

When John was 10 years old, he ate a piece of cake that somehow contained radioactive blue cheese. That night, he grew more than 200 pounds and became bouncy and blobby. Since that fateful night, he was known to all as Fat Boy.

When Fat Boy related his origins to his peers, everyone thought that he must have gained some super powers from the radioactive cheese. Well, Fat Boy was no Spiderman. He did not gain any superhuman, strength, agility or intelligence. Fat Boy was just enormously, ridiculously fat. But being fat has its benefits too. Fat Boy’s adipose tissues are so full and engorged that they shielded all his vital organs from any form of impact, even if it came from a moving train. In short, he was invincibly fat.

With great power comes great responsibility. It was natural, then, that Fat Boy spent most of his adult life fighting crime. Every night, he would comb the streets and smother muggers, rapists and gangbangers with his massive cellulite until they passed out. When the police arrived at the scene later, they would often find Fat Boy’s victims covered in sweat, as though they just had an overly long stay in the sauna.

As time passed, people were becoming more affluent and civic minded. In addition, the police became better trained and better equipped at crime fighting. As a result, the streets became cleaner and safer. Muggers, rapists and gangbangers no longer roamed the streets. There was no longer a need for Fat Boy to patrol the streets anymore.

Gradually, Fat Boy’s existence became obsolete. The newer generations do not even know him anymore. To them, he was nothing more than urban myth. And to those who saw Fat Boy, he was nothing more than a kid who ate too much. Yes, Fat Boy still looks very much like a kid even though it has been 30 years since he ate that piece of cheese cake. It was as if he was immune to the passage of time.

The older generation, especially those in government, seemed to notice that Fat Boy hadn’t aged at all. While they used to laud his feats, they now fear his apparent immortality. Some in parliament want to harness his powers for the military. Others want to eliminate him for good. Few saw Fat Boy for who he really was – a crime fighting hero. And so, it was decided that Fat Boy would be captured and experimented on by a select group of local scientists.

Another retired vigilante, Supper Man, caught wind of the government’s plan. Supper Man has crossed paths with Fat Boy on several occasions. But unlike Fat Boy, Supper Man did not have any super powers. Hence, he admired Fat Boy’s prowess in stopping crime in the previously filthy city. Thus, when he knew of the government’s conspiracy, he immediately rushed to warn Fat Boy.

Fat Boy was furious when he heard the news. He wanted to smother each and every one of those bald and scheming politicians with his fats. Seeing his rage, Supper Man feared Fat Boy might just carry out his threat. He had no choice but to calm him down with beer. Soon the alcohol kicked in and Fat Boy became depressed rather than angry. He could not believe that the city he grew up protecting could breed such cruel ingrates. But then again, he never believed cheesecakes could be radioactive.
It was the saddest day of his life.

Fat Boy told Supper Man that he needed some alone time to think things through. Supper Man was reluctant to leave at first, but eventually left Fat Boy, for he knew he would want to be left alone if he were in the same situation. As soon as Supper Man left, Fat Boy took a shot of Chivas Regal to calm his nerves. Then, he focused his mind and squished all his fats to his chest. Then, suddenly and swiftly, Fat Boy delivered a heavy blow to his chest. With a loud thud, Fat Boy’s heart splattered.
Immediately after the demise of his heart, all of Fat Boy’s fats started burning up. Soon, all that is left of the legendary crime fighter was but a set of steaming bones.

-Wai Han on 31122009 at guard house.

FML

2009-12-13T18:42:00.001+08:00

The year is ending, Christmas is just round the corner, and we'll embrace the new year in 18 days' time. It's supposed to feel festive right now. After all, it's Christmas. It's all about fun, family and new possibilities. But somehow, I'm not feeling all that. They seem so distant and unattainable.

I planned for the year to end on an alcohol-induced high. But it seems even that is not going to happen. It's funny how the way things turn out.

Not long ago, I fell into this depressed mood. I don't want to go back there. It was dark. It was not even close to teenage angst; it was like my fire has burnt out. I don't plan to go there anymore, but sometimes, plans just fail.

It seems that I am struggling with myself. I set my unattainable goals for life and try fruitlessly to achieve them. And in the process, I hurt myself. I've brought everything upon myself. I am responsible for my own undoing. Apparently.

Yet when I choose to accept the world for what it is, I feel I'm wandering aimlessly. I have no purpose, but to pander to those around me by staying alive. Then I might as well be dead. I've had that thought several times, especially when crossing roads and traffic junctions. (But somehow I've managed to keep myself alive.)

Fortunately for me, those semi-suicidal thoughts have eluded me since 2 months ago. But I know they are almost resurfacing now. They have been hiding in my subconscious and making me reckless. That is why I have been horned several times while on the road since then.

Just yesterday, a car blew its horn on me at a car park. Without thinking, I gave the driver the finger. The driver's husband wasn't too pleased with that and came out to confront me. Well, in the end he left with his entire day spoiled while I escaped in a adrenaline-induced high. When I reflect upon this, I think nothing of whether my actions were justified or sensible, but rather, about the fact that that was the most excitement I have had since the end of last year.

My year must have sucked. Or my life must have sucked.

333 more

2009-12-08T21:23:00.000+08:00

Today, mom suddenly IMed me on msn. We talked about stuff, loneliness, friends and how our lives may not be the best that they can be at the moment. Mom mentioned I haven't been writing for a long time so I shall just update my blog today, lest people think that this blog has died.

Nothing much has happened lately. Most days, I book out, have dinner at home, watch a show, talk to tian on msn, and then book back in again. Every day seems just like the last one, so there isn't much that I think is worth mentioning here. Nonetheless, I think the routine and mundaneness is worth a paragraph here.

My hands are the same. They don't hurt too bad. I no longer feel a lack of grip strength. But they are still damn stiff and a tingling sensation radiates from my joints – both hands and feet - from time to time. I did an ultrasound scan today, but apparently there is no inflammation. I guess this should be a good thing, since my fingers and toes will not deform with age. But I still don't know what the hell is wrong with me and whether this stiffness and pain will be permanent. I hate this uncertainty. It bothers me a lot, so much so that I sometimes feel like doing things that I am not proud of. I hate the temptation.

Of course, it doesn't help to know that I'll probably be counting down to 2010 in camp on New Year's Eve. I feel kind of indignant when I see others who have it so easy. I don't understand it. Why does things have to be so hard for me (and even harder for some others)? Life just isn't fair. And this unfairness is difficult to comprehend. The last time someone tried to answer that question, a revolution started in Russia so I shall not even go there.

At least there's an end to all this. It's only 11 more months. All I have to do is suck thumb and get through with it. And perhaps take an MC or 2 every month to cover the lost weekends.

Okay, enough rambling. In the end, all I want to say is: those who understand can't help and those can help don't understand. That is the story of my life for the most parts.

(Maybe, like Richard, I have situational depression)

***
Btw, I miss you.

Dancing and Falling

2009-11-15T00:14:00.000+08:00

Borrowed from a friend:

I am the court jester.

I wear a mask that always smiles.

I prance around in the courts, with my staff, and my ball.

Sometimes I fall, just for the royalties’ amusement.

Other times I resort to my old tricks.

Most times, the royalties are too tired to watch me.

During those times, I am invisible physically.

But deep down, I know I am always invisible. No one sees past that mask.

I am alone.

I prance and dance.

I am the court jester.

Of Trees and Sounds

2009-10-23T21:20:00.002+08:00

When a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

It does, or it doesn’t, but we will never know.

We all know then when things fall, they make a sound. Science tells us that the kinetic energy of the falling tree will be transferred to sound energy in the form of longitudinal waves when the tree hits the ground. However, science is falsifiable, and that particular tree that fell in the forest may have been the exception. It could have been the black swan - the proof that not all things make a sound when they fall.

Or it could have just been a normal (and dumb) tree that fell with a loud thud.

We will never know.

And we cannot judge without any evidence. It’s too bad that we are not there to listen to the tree fall.

Fat is fat

2009-10-17T21:58:00.000+08:00

Many people - the governement, my previous school, my current superiors and even some of my peers - have tried to pull the "NS is good for you" shit on me.

I was fooled by them to believe I was the odd one who could not stand national service while all the other guys could. I felt rather inadequate, but i know better now. Jenny enlightened me to look at things as they are and not let brainwashed fucks affect me.

First, let's establish that NS is a fucking waste of time. The argument that ns brings you benefits such as the values of independence, perserverance, determination, etc, is obviously flawed because the fact that you are living in Singapore now means that you probably have all those values. This means you don't need NS to get those values.

And secondly, shit is shit. For the purpose of debate, let's liken NS to a fat chick. In a some parts of the world, only fat chicks exist. But you know you don't like fat chicks. It doesn't mean that when all the chicks are fat you have to fuck the fat chick! You can always move to a place where there are hot chicks and fuck them. Fat is fat. You don't have to fuck the fat chick!

Fuck the brainwashed fucks. All fooled by relativity.

NSFs

2009-10-16T01:14:00.001+08:00

We are the Unfortunate
led by the Unqualified
to do the Unnecessary
for the Ungrateful.

-Courtesy of a notice in front of Gerald Koh's table.

BIG DREAMS

2009-10-07T21:47:00.003+08:00

It seems that society, or more specifically, Singapore society, expects us to have big dreams, if not big nationalistic dreams. Since we were children, we are taught by people around us to contribute to society, or even to humanity. We are told to be doctors to alleviate the human condition from malaise, to be lawyers and law enforcers to rid society of injustice, to be philanthropists and social workers to bring about equity in the world, and so on. Our role models are and remain to be Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Abraham Lincoln, and Lee Kuan Yew (just look up any Singapore social studies textbook, and if you beg to differ, you’re one of my friends). In short, we were raised to have big dreams and do big things. We are expected to make a difference.

What if one simply doesn’t care? Then he becomes a pariah, condemned to be a selfish scum of the earth.

I don’t have big dreams. And I think I never had them. I don’t care about homeless people living on the streets, simply because I am not one of them. But if, I, for some unexplainable reason, join the ranks of the homeless, I would definitely fight the hell out of me for my rights. In short, I am apathetic to those that do not concern me. I don’t need to concern myself with ailing Africans or countries engaged in gruesome civil war unless, A, I’m part of a pharmaceutical company, or B, I’m a gun runner selling arms to both sides of the war. Do not misunderstand me. I am not the devil, nor do I have evil intentions. I am merely apathetic to distant suffering. And if unfortunate things had already happened to my fellow inhabitants of this earth, I don’t see anything wrong in benefitting from their misfortunes, if and only if I am not at liberty to help them anyway. If you can’t help them, might as well siphon off them. Right?

Alright, I digressed quite a bit. I’m supposed to write about my dream. My dream is small and simple. It involves only a penthouse apartment in Dubai, 12 barely clothed supermodels, poker, a few like minded friends, martinis, and merry. Despite its miniscule size, I think I need a considerable amount of planning and funding to achieve this dream. But it is okay. It is attainable, when compared to dreams like making every one in the world a saint, or like stopping people from ever engaging in warfare, or like bringing equality to society. In fact, I already have plans to make it happen. And I need YOU, my friends, to help me achieve it. Under mentioned are my plans. Feel free to sign up for any one of them. But please take note, due to the limited number of supermodels in my dream, only 11 other straight male friends can sign up. This restriction does not apply to my homosexual male friends and all female friends.

Plan 1: Drug Dealing.
Basically, we buy a plot of poppies in Afgan from the Taliban, process the produce and sell them at a marked up price in the G7 countries.
Pros: The Taliban is friendly to all who wants to screw with Western civilization
Cons: The penalty for drug dealing in most G7 countries is a life sentence.

Plan 2: Gun Running
We hook up with the Chinese, and the Russians and ship these arms to Africa where the sonnobitches love killing themselves over cattle and land and water.
Pros: Watching people kill each other with our merchandise is hugely entertaining, not to mention great for business for our counterparts in the entertainment – oops I mean mass media – industry.
Cons: The Chinese and Russians have tighter controls over their AKs these days.

Plan 3: Ponzi Scam
Set up a phony fund and let the money roll in.
Pros: OMG! I can’t believe people still fall for this crap!
Cons: 150 years in prison

Plan 4: Sunny Island Wellness
Set up a practice with a plastic surgeon, a dental surgeon, a psychiatrist, a pediatrician and a general physician in town as a one-stop medical service for the rich and privileged. And charge them exorbitant prices of course.
Pros: All you people are going to be doctors any way.
Cons: The government likes to regulate healthcare services.

Plan 5: Rob a bank.
(Read the title)
Pros: Too fast too furious.
Cons: It’s Singapore, there’s no where to run.

To sign up, tag on my tag board, drop me a message on msn or simply holla me on fb. Your support is greatly appreciated.

Waiting for The Light to Change

2009-09-27T23:34:00.003+08:00

I know you are fair.

I know you are random.

I know you don't always like me.

I know sometimes you feel like killing me.

I know I'm asking for a lot.

I know this is not exactly right.

But, don't you think you owe me a little?

Can't you make it a little easier for me?

Btw, I love this girl

Sensitive Topic

2009-09-19T21:12:00.001+08:00

Do you know that crusade and jihad mean exactly the same thing?

Yet people come up with names like Campus Crusade for Christ. I mean, is that a Christian terrorist group?

Oh wait! Christians can’t be terrorists, can they? No, society at large thinks they can’t.

No, I don’t have a problem with Christians. I think they are cool people. In fact, they are pretty people. (Churches are always filled with hot girls!) But I have a problem when certain Christians declare war – if you don’t know yet, crusade means holy war – on people who are not of their religious belief. I don’t like to be slaughtered – physically, mentally, or spiritually.

I hope that one day, people can accept and respect my religion, or the lack of it.

***

Actually, I kind of wish I believed in religions. Believing in something larger than what is makes living so much easier. It makes life meaningful, less hedonistic.

Too bad I don’t believe in all that.

Too bad my life isn’t meaningful and purposeful.

Too bad I have screwed up values.

Too bad I don’t have faith.

Just too bad.

No wonder my will to live is so weak.

418

2009-09-13T20:02:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, when I’m crossing the road, I wish a car would just run me down.

I’m slipping. And you’re the only one holding me. But you will eventually get tired and let go. And I’ll be so far gone.

I'm tired. So damned exhausted.

2009-09-09T19:43:00.000+08:00

ord please please come. im almost at my limit. fuck.

Death's Advocate

2009-08-23T22:34:00.001+08:00

We render help to those on the verge of suicide. What, then, about those who see life as futile and yet lack the courage to end their lives?

I belong to the second group. I see life as a chore, a life sentence (no pun intended), something that we have no say in, simply because we are too weak to end our own lives. Life is not sacred, not beautiful and certainly not meaningful. Look past the mask of humanity and all you see are a few atoms interacting with one another.

Life is unfortunate. Too bad my friends and family don’t see it this way. Too bad I can’t ask for a pleasurable death at the local hospital.

Just too bad.

2009-08-23T00:41:00.001+08:00

A cold beer on a hot and humid night. That’s life.

Reflections and Redemption

2009-08-16T17:27:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I wish I were interested in medicine. Because then I can escape. Because then I won’t feel as if the world is moving forward and leaving me behind. Because then I won’t need to go through this rut, as least for now.

And I can be with the person I truly want to be with.

Not to mention that this thing is a total waste of time. Verbatim (source anonymous for protection from despots): “When the civilians look at me in uniform, they and I both know one thing. They know I cannot protect them and I know I cannot protect them. ”

And I would like to apologize for the complete lack of restraint and of course the unbridled use of profanity in one of my recent posts. And thanks Rachel for supporting my narcissistic literary addiction, I hope you continue to check this place out despite all the bad language and poor writing.

21st Century, East Asian Orwell

2009-08-09T21:46:00.003+08:00

9 august 2009 marks the 44th year of independence of little red dot farm from it's previous association with the humans. The pigs planned a huge celebration by the farm's pond. They even had a platform built on the pond so that the animals can enjoy both the visual display of the celebratory parade and the scenic view of the pond. Most animals lauded the innovation, especially the herd of sheep, who thought the pigs were brilliant to have come up with such an idea.

In the late afternoon, the animals marched orderly into the platform, took their seats and settled down to watch the parade prepared by their fellow animals. Of course, the pigs, being the leaders of the farm, took the best seats. Some of the were even saluted by the dogs, the guardians of the farm.

The show presented by the performers was nothing but great. The audience had a blast. Yet the performers effort was only mentioned in an obscure paragraph in the farm's official newspaper. The pains of the performers, most of whom were dogs, was not mentioned at all. It was, Of course, the common knowledge amongst performers that some if not most of the dogs were coerced and forced by law to take part in the parade and its many rehearsals, but this despotic display by the pigs and senior dogs never made it to the newspaper. So the animals happily believed that the pigs were their great democratic leaders who could make great things happen given limited resources and time.

The pigs, fearing that their authoritarian rule has turned some animals against their leadership, came up with another innovation. They got the animals to take a pledge of allegiance to the farm at 8.22pm to unite the animals in their favor. The animals, seeing this was something new, gladly took part in it, especially the sheep, who, although mindless and stupid, were fervent voices of the pigs. At 8.22pm sharp, the sheep, with most animals, raised their hooves to their hearts and chanted like that never chant before.

“we the citizens of little red dot farm
pledge ourselves as one united animals
...”

Stupid, mindless, brainwashed sheep. Little did they know that the pigs had planned to send their kind to the butcher the next day. But it's just the way things are; sheep will always be sheep.

To a Certain Personnel in the 5@F:

2009-08-07T23:27:00.001+08:00

Dear Asshole,

You are fucked up beyond any repair.

I hope that in a few weeks time, you’ll discover that you have terminal testicular cancer. (The kind that you can’t be cured from.) Your prognosis will be three months. However, your doctor will recommend chemotherapy and you, being the fucking idiot that you are, will follow his instructions.

After you complete your chemotherapy course, your doctor will diagnose you as “unresponsive to chemotherapy” and that means you fucked up; you have gone through all that shit for nothing. And soon after, you find that you are weak, bald and basically a burden to your family.

The bad news doesn’t end here. Your daughters get cancer as well. However, they have a better prognosis. Like you, they go through chemotherapy. You are hopeful. But unlike you, they die even before they complete their course. So, as a weak, bald and impotent man, you send your daughters to hell. You know that its your blood, your filthy genes that caused your daughters their pain and death. You are nothing but a mother fucker, the scum of the earth. You think you deserve to die. But you don’t, you live to suffer. Because death isn’t enough.

Your wife leaves you, and takes all your savings with her. You are kicked out of your house for not paying the rent. You live underneath a bridge now. Crows shit on you everyday. Dogs bark at you. And cats bite you whenever they see you. And one day, the cancer spreads from your balls to your heart, lungs, liver, colon and brain. And finally, after enduring all the suffering, you die. The earth celebrates; one less scum and more oxygen for the rest of humanity.

Then you go to hell. Inside, you are tied to a fiery pillar and you see yourself charred and decaying. You skin rots entirely everyday, only to regenerate entirely the next day so that the decay can continue. You also see your daughters in their bald, weak state. They are fucked by demons in front of you. You see them used as whores. You see their every orifice filled with filthy demon cum and it’s your fault. Because you are such a mother fucker and scum of the earth, you brought that onto your daughters. Too bad you are impotent and helpless. You’ll have you watch your daughters get raped for the rest of eternity.

And that’s my curse to you.

Fuck you. Rot in hell.

Yours sincerely,
Wong Wai Han.

Fucked Up

2009-08-04T19:46:00.002+08:00

Fucked up.

Those are the only words I can find to describe a certain organization filled with green people, or should I say unwilling green people.

It is rife with inefficiency and profanity. And you know why it is so fucked up? Because it is filled with uneducated REGULAR dumbasses who hold on to nothing but their hierarchical position in the organization, ORIFICES who only look at the “big picture”, whatever that is, unwilling uneducated dumbasses and intelligent people who don’t give a rat’s ass about the organization.

Just so you know, I belong to the last group.

And I wonder, why, a perfectly intelligent person has to do the bidding of REGULAR dumbasses who are absolutely worthless to society outside that particular organization. Shouldn’t the smarter person lead? No! Even if you are smarter than everyone else, you will still have to listen to the seniors. After all, they are decorated with many arrows. And in certain Confined Arbitrary Messed-up Places, that’s all that counts.

The economist in me can’t help but ask. What happened to liberty? What happened to the freedom to choose one’s profession? What happened to optimal utilization of resources? No wonder we’ll never make it big as a capitalistic nation. We might as well have a junta, like our friendly neighbor Myanmar. I’m sure that way we’ll have tens of thousands of people joining the green people organization. No more recruitment problem! YAY!

But in the end, I don’t really care. I can’t be bothered to. And even if I do care, I can’t do much, because I only have a PRIVATE voice. In this particular organization, only *GENERAL* views count. So I’ll just suck it up, and waste my time away in the Atrocious Rancid Morbid Years, hoping that shit will not drop on me.

Yea, I’m fucked up. Because the greenies fucked me up.

Make It or Break It

2009-07-25T00:21:00.003+08:00

What do you get when you put a bunch of flexible, well coordinated bimbos together? A TV show called “Make It or Break It” starring four hot gymnasts.

The plot is typical: a hot young chick from a less-than-respectable background goes to a famed gymnastics club on scholarship and is ostracized by the other girls. She tries her best in the sport and finally beats the shit out of the other bitches. Seriously, a three year old can write that kind of story.

But who cares about the plot when you can watch four hot-bodied chicks in tight leotards do incredible and inhuman stunts? Screw with the storyline, focus on those asses instead!

100 Truths

2009-06-05T23:27:00.000+08:00

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage: Plain water
2. Last phone call: Tian
3. Last text message: last sent: To Tian, probably explaning/apologising
4. Last song you listened to: I’m yours – Jason Mraz
5. Last time you cried: June 2007

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice: You mean at least 2 dates? Many times I guess.
7. Been cheated on: Yea, by Singapore Pools.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Nope, not even when I kissed guys.
9. Lost someone special: Yes.
10. Been depressed: Yes.
11. Been drunk and threw up: Threw up, but I definitely wasn’t drunk.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:

12. Blue
13. Red
14. Orange

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend: Yes. Made lots of friends during NS.
16. Fallen out of love: Hopefully not ever.
17. Laughed until you cried: I don’t cry.
18. Met someone who changed you: Nope.
19. Found out who your true friends were: I don’t need to.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Nope.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Girlfriend’s on my friends’ list.
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: About 90%.
23. How many kids do you want to have: None.
24. Do you have any pets: Yea, a one-eyed monster.
25. Do you want to change your name: What for?
26. What did you do for your last birthday: McDonalds near coronation plaza, heart shaped cake, Tian.

27. What time did you wake up today: 0500hrs.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Snoring.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: ORD LOH!
30. Last time you saw your Mother: 2 days ago. She went to Korea.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Skip NS.
30. What are you listening to right now: Flying High - Jem
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom : Who the F?
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: The thought of booking in on Tuesday.
35. Most visited webpage: facebook, and several porn sites.
36. Whats your real name: Wong Wai Han.
37. Nicknames: Wai Fuck, Wai Wai, wh, teddy.
39. Zodiac sign: Aquarius, horse
40. Male or female: Male
41. Elementary: Poi Ching Primary/ Pei Chun Public
42. High School: RI
43. College: RJC
44. Hair colour: Black
45. Long or short: Fucking short.
46. Height: 170cm.
47. Do you have a crush on someone: If I had one, I’d be killed by someone.
48: What do you like about yourself: Too many to name any in particular.
49. Piercings: Never.
50. Tattoos: Not Yet. I want something tribal.
51. Righty or lefty: Righty.

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery: Hopefully in a few months’ time.
53. First piercing: Never had one.
54. First best friend: Can’t remember. All my friends are considered “best”.
55. First sport you joined: Badminton.
56. First vacation: Sentosa.
58. First pair of trainers: Who the F remembers?

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating: Air.
60. Drinking: Air.
61. I'm about to: Watch Chuck and then sleep.
62. Listening to: Carry you home – James Blunt
63. Waiting on: ORD LOH!

YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids: No.
65. Get Married: Maybe. If I need to buy a flat.
66. Career: Pimp? Trader? Hokkien Mee stall owner?

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes: Eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: Kisses, preferably wit tongue.
69. Shorter or taller: Taller
70. Older or Younger: Older
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Boobs and asses anyone?
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive.
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble maker.

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger: Nope, may try if I’m drunk.
77. Drank hard liquor: Absolut and Chivas.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Nope.
79. Sex on first date: I’m open to the concept.
80. Broken someone's heart: Hopefully never ever.
82. Been arrested: For stealing someone’s heart, yes.
83. Turned someone down: Yea. Stupid facebook invites.
84. Cried when someone died: Yes.
85. Fallen for a friend: No. I have a low center of gravity.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself: Yes.
87. Miracles: When I win TOTO, I’ll believe in it.
88. Love at first sight: No.
89. Heaven: Love, Sex and Magic. Hell yeah!
90. Santa Claus: He and his gay elf buddies live in the South Pole.
91. Kiss on the first date: It’s rude.
92. Angels: Charlie’s Angels?

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No.
95. Did you sing today: No.
96. Ever cheated on somebody: Nope.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: Primary 1, and convince my dad to buy Google!
98. If you could pick a day from last year and re-live it, what would it be?: Dance Night.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: I probably am.
100. Posting this as 100 truths: Posting this now.

Fuck

2009-05-27T18:29:00.001+08:00

Nassim Nicholas Taleb introduced me to alternative history.

Basically, every time we are presented with a choice, say whether or not to rob a bank, we basically choose option out of N number of options. The options not chosen and their consequences are called alternative histories, since they have not happened in this universe. (Perhaps they realized in the infinitely many parallel universes proposed by Einstein. But that’s beside the point. I’m here to discuss the hopefully alternate history of my life.)

In the many lives that I can possibly live in say, ten years’ time, here’s one of them. I will graduate from NUS with a BBA, take 2 years to find a underpaying job, invest in the market and lose more than half of my miserable net worth in the next “greatest market crash of the century”, have my kidneys fail due to long term pain medication, see my parents die of old age, have my siblings become tired of me, admit myself into a miserable government sponsored hospice and die alone.

It is quite tragic, but probability dictates that it is not the worse yet. I hope it will be one of those alternative histories that happened to “other waihans”, because this waihan wants to live a comfortable and happy life. But then again, this particular history has quite a high probability of realizing.

Sigh.

Life sucks.

A Chapter From The Past

2009-05-09T10:05:00.002+08:00

I remember Upenn had an optional essay that was called something like 'page 273 of your autobiography'. Maybe I should have written this instead of choosing not to submit the optional essay at all. I wrote it in the third person's perspective since I'm not that guy anymore, or at least I hope I'm not. For those who love gore and emo flicks, enjoy.

He was in his room. To him, it was was really a small, cozy, albeit cluttered cube. But it didn't matter; he had been cooped up in it too often. He was accustomed to the restrictive walls and the mess.

He closed the door. It separated him from his family members who were merrily watching television in the living room. He felt alone. Or more accurately, he wanted to be alone. There was no one he could talk to. In fact, there was no one he wanted to talk to. It didn't matter. He had always preferred self-directed reflection. But this time it was different. The isolation made him feel affectless. And the melancholic music certainly wasn't helping at all.

Slowly and deliberately, he took the penknife out of his drawer. He pulled the blade out and admired its sharpness. Then, mimicking scenes from old-fashioned action flicks, he burned the blade with a lighter to sanitize it. After all, he did not want to die of an infection. That was not his goal, and he would feel utterly stupid if he did die of some minor bacterial infection. The blade's charred now. He wondered if the carbon would give him cancer. ( For someone who wants to hurt himself, he is certainly thinking too much about the consequences. He rationalized that it must be the scientific education that that he had been infused with since he was young.) Never mind the cancer, he thought, the probability's too low anyway. Then, cautiously and unhurriedly, he push the blade into his skin and slit it across his forearm. His skin split open and bright red oozed out of the carefully carved openings. Immediately, endorphins exploded in his hypothalamus. He never felt more alive. He never felt more excited and happy. Neither ecstasy nor ice could have done a better job.

He cut himself a few more times. Soon, a network of crimson rivers formed. Mono hue -- blood on pale skin. It was a beautiful masterpiece, one full of abstract emotions. He loved it.

And then the initial high came to an end, perhaps a little too quickly than he would have liked. He picked up a few pieces of paper towels and wiped the blood off his arm. He noticed, then, that the wounds did not look as pretty than when it was decorated with streams of crimson. But he didn't care. He was done with carving anyway. He cleaned his blade and put it back in his drawer, took a deep breath and went to bed.

That night he slept like a baby.

2009-04-18T20:08:00.001+08:00

the other side of poker face

Complaining During ATTC Days

2009-04-18T00:38:00.000+08:00

I want my English back.

I think I’ve lost my ability to speak or write grammatically correct sentences.

All the time I spent studying grammar for SAT1 has gone to waste. And that sucks. Army stole my English, along with many other things, such as my health.

Bitch.

Seriously bitched up.

***

On a lighter note, I’ve finally secured an appointment with a rheumatologist next Tuesday. I really need to find out what the hell is wrong with my hands. With any luck, it’ll be a condition that can be treated so I don’t have to live the rest of my life with stiff fingers.

I’ll be really glad if someone prayed for me, since I’m not all that religious. I’ll need all the luck I can get.

***

Wendy. Please. Call me and say yes. You’ll make me a happy person, or a person who’s not $300,000 in debt 6 years later.

He's A Chao Geng Soldier!

2009-04-16T20:01:00.003+08:00

The April fools have finally gotten in. I wonder how long would their enthusiasm, if any, last.

Okay, let me just report my NS status. I’ve just gotten out of course from BSLC today. And I’m home now on MC (or ATT C in army terms).

Here’s how everything happened.

I feel pain and discomfort in my finger joints since BMT. At first I thought the pain was due to muscle fatigue. However, as time passed, the discomfort worsened and now my fingers aren’t as nimble as they used to be. So I went to consult the doctor during the last week of March and in early April. I was given a referral to TTSH but unfortunately, TTSH doctors could only see me in November. That is absolutely ridiculous. So I went to see the doctor again today, so that he can put me out of course, lest my condition worsens. In addition to agreeing to my request, he gave me 2 days MC so I can see a doctor from SGH’s A&E. (Thanks! I appreciate the long weekend granted.) And as the simplest of logic would dictate, I was given the “excuse upper limb” status. (That means I can choose not to do any strenuous saigang whenever I felt like it.)

Of course I know the downsides to being out-of-course. Firstly, scholarship providers are surely going to ask questions. And secondly, I may have to recourse if don’t get ‘medically downgraded’. But I obviously hope that I don’t get downgraded, because that means that there is something seriously wrong with me.

In any case, I’ll enjoy my extended weekend, as well as my hopefully useful trip down to SGH’s A&E. ( I seriously doubt that they will attend to me; I’m obviously not an “accident and emergency case”.)

Thoughts

2009-04-11T18:44:00.001+08:00

I may only just have gotten used to it, it being having someone to share everything with, even the most difficult of problems.

It wasn’t like that before. I was independent, perhaps a little self-destructive, but independent nonetheless. It feels weird being dependent on someone - weird but good. And it’s even better if you know that someone depends on you too. I’ve just gotten used to that feeling. And I want it to last a little longer. Just a little. Or maybe for at least 10 years.

***

I talked to a friend just now and found out about something demoralizing. Perhaps I’ll have to be independent soon, as will you. If that day ever comes, I hope we’ll both be more independent and strong than self-destructive.

That day will come. I'm quite sure. Because I really want to go. I've wanted to go since I was 12.

***

Humans dislike uncertainty. And I am human.

The issue with my hand is now in the grey. I know nothing about it. And I currently have few ways of obtaining useful advice. I am instructed to wait.

But waiting and not knowing is torturous. I don’t like grey. I prefer black and white.

Please. Fate be kind to me and tell me there’s nothing wrong with me.

How Army Life Gets Better Each Day

2009-04-10T01:41:00.001+08:00

Wendy’s so pretty!

OMG!

And she talked to me exclusively. Man I feel good!

Let’s hope I get to work with her in the future.

Interview didn’t go as well as I would like it to be.

The scholarship’s competitive too.

Life is tough.

Maybe I’ll be going NUS or SMU after all.

Another thing, doc looked through my x-rays. He says my joints a little inflamed.

Life just gets better and better.

And my specialist appointment is scheduled on 26 November.

By then I’ll already be paralyzed or completely healed.

I just love the 5@F medical system.

Stiffness

2009-04-05T18:33:00.000+08:00

I think I've got arthritis. I hope it can be treated.

Numbered

2009-03-18T00:39:00.002+08:00

Tick tock tick tock.

Time ticks away.

Don’t wanna go back.

Wanna stay with you.

Winning Medicine Essay

2009-03-13T21:35:00.002+08:00

If I had my way, I would write this in my NUS application essay.

Here goes.

I want to study medicine. No, I don’t want to save lives. And this will not be some sob story about how a family member of mine suffered from a terminal disease, and how his/her passing resulted in my ambition to become a doctor. People die everyday. That is certainly not a good enough reason for me to study like a rabid dog. Money may be a factor, but I guess I’ll make much more by being an investment banker, or a blood-sucking lawyer.

What, then, is my true motivation? To answer that question, I would have to look at my daily activities, which mainly involve me sitting in front of my computer watching US TV series. Needless to say, my favorite shows are Private Practice, Grey’s Anatomy and House. Yes, I would definitely like to be House. He always manages to save his patients and yet make them wish they were dead. It’s fun to screw around with stupid patients. If studying medicine pays me to do that in the future, I’m all for it. And, if I work in a hospital, or in a practice, like in Grey’s or in Private, I could possibly have sex in one of the on-call rooms or offices like the characters do in the shows, which I think is kind of cool or kinky if you may.

Abovementioned are my motivations for my interest in medicine. Screw with saving lives. Few doctors actually save lives, most just issue MCs and dispense medicine in a monotonous, almost mechanical manner. And it’s worse if you have to look at disgusting skin, or genital conditions. I study medicine because I want to have fun screwing with patients and with co-workers. I will become a good doctor, such as House, or Christina, or Addison. I will not become the geeky GP you see in your neighborhood.

BFF Day

2009-02-07T23:11:00.011+08:00

Somehow BFF day failed terribly. It reverted back to BFGF day a.k.a any normal date.

Slacking at City Hall

Still slacking...

"Why? Why you bring me to Mos Burger?"

"I'm pissed. Don't make me laugh"

"Now I'll just emo by myself"

"I'm emo. Don't talk to me. And quit trying to make me laugh."

"Grrrr. Attack you with my pissed-off-takopachi-face!"

Sneaking around in changing room.

Listening to Chinese bands at Esplanade. Photographer had shaky hands

Like Nathan and Haley...

I liked pseudo BFF day, because we still get to...

6 days, 5 nights. It's a test that we'll pass, and a test that'll strenthen us.

Adventure

2009-01-04T02:29:00.002+08:00

Savage. But I don't think so. =)

Day 8

2009-01-02T23:32:00.000+08:00

1. Since i woke up
2. But highlights happened after 2pm.

Day 7

2009-01-01T23:51:00.002+08:00

1. relief in the afternoon
2. 22nd dec and beyond
3. 10.30 to 11.56

Day 6 and I Miss Owen Wilson

2009-01-01T18:23:00.001+08:00

1. being able to sneak away from the majiong gang.
2. random aunties and uncles, dog and Indian guy
3. lift
4. 5

***

I miss Owen Wilson. And the sniper guy too!

I didn’t know I missed them, until Behind Enemy Lines: Columbia proved to be the shittest movie I’ve watched this year. Seriously people, go watch Columbia and you’ll know how great the first movie was (and how freaking lousy Columbia is).

Stupid Rambo-like-jungle-running-pseudo-seal-idiots.

Day 5

2008-12-30T23:11:00.006+08:00

1. Baking (and making super cool body parts)
2. Dinner with Pet (and Marco and Ginseng and Kwok Leung)

Day 4

2008-12-29T18:02:00.002+08:00

1. Little girl in library
2. The crow and his crow friend
3. Aunties and Uncles
4. Army of Muds
5. Addiction

Day 3

2008-12-28T23:11:00.000+08:00

The last SMS. =)

Day 2

2008-12-27T23:36:00.002+08:00

1. 3.10pm - 4.00pm
2. 10.30pm - 11.15pm

***
FUCK! FUCKING FUCKED UP.

The 5 Most Fundamental Rules of Life

2008-12-27T00:52:00.002+08:00

Rule Number 1: Life sucks
Rule Number 2: People suck
Rule Number 3: People lie
Rule Number 4: Kids lie
Rule Number 5: Life's a transvestite bitch with a 14-inch strapon ready to screw

Day 1

2008-12-26T21:22:00.002+08:00

The rules are that for 8 days you have to post something that made you happy that day.

1. Doing nothing.
2. Embarrassing noobs. Really really embarrassing.
3. Super nice buffet dinner.

Quote

2008-12-20T21:27:00.002+08:00

I will fall for a girl who is smarter than I, or one I'll become stupid for. -- Wong Wai Han(2008)

Sometime in the future, one or a few bastards will quote this in their essays.

Black, Huge, Thick and Formidable

2008-12-12T23:26:00.000+08:00

It’s black, huge, thick and formidable.

Don’t think sick. It’s The Snowball, Buffett’s new biography.

I like it, a lot. Wisdom permeates every chapter of that book. Brilliant.

Next up, I’ll continue my tirade against screenwriters.

Why in the world must Peyton get cancer? Can’t the story continue without Lucas’s love facing imminent and painful death? Surely the writers can do better than that. Construct a real villain, not some stupid disease. This is not House M.D for god’s sake. And for the record, I like Peyton. She should not be dying!

And why the hell must Bart die? I like Bart. He is a respectable and successful businessman. A role model, so to speak. The plot screws up after his death. Dan wants another chance with Serena, who is currently dating Aaron. Seriously what the hell?! And Rufus and Lily have an unborn child? The plot really reminds me of the channel 8 crap that plagued my childhood.

Last, but not least, what’s with the flashbacks and flashforwards in Sarah Connor Chronicles? I totally don’t get what the hell the writers are trying to convey. Hell, I don’t even get the story at all. Don’t believe me? Try to understand this.

White out.

Huge badass robot comes out and beats the shit out of Cameron.

White out.

Some white bitch giving birth.

White out.

Sarah, Cameron and some idiots run away from badass robot.

White out.

Baby is born. White bitch is dead.

White out.

Sarah and gang defeat badass robot.

White out.

Some teenage bitch steals the newborn.

Black out. (Episode ends)

If anyone can piece everything together can come up with an explanation, please text/mail me.

Stupid Screenwriters

2008-12-08T01:53:00.000+08:00

Seriously, the screenwriters are doing a shit job with Izzie Stevens! Why is she hallucinating about Denny Duquette all day long?! She even thinks she’s having sex with him! (She’s actually masturbating.)

The story is really getting unbelievable and PREDICTABLE. Let me tell you what will happen next. So, Karev told Izzie that he loves her in episode 10. And since Izzie is still hallucinating about Denny, the relationship between Izzie and Karev would crash and burn. Karev would then become a cynical bastard in the hospital, again – not to mention drunk. Izzie, upon realizing that her relationship with Karev crumbled, would snap out of the Denny-reminiscence-hallucination. She would then be sad, like she used to be when Denny died. And the sad and screwed up interns story starts all over again.

I can’t believe that my favorite character on the show, if you haven’t noticed, is Izzie, is being treated like this. Freaking stupid Screenwriters!

I think I’ll switch to House, or Private Practice. Clearly these shows have better plots and character development.

You're Dead, and Dead, and Dead Indeed

2008-12-05T14:06:00.001+08:00

A Man of Words
(Anon)

A man of words and not deeds,
Is like a garden full of weeds;
And when the weeds begin to grow;
It's like a garden full of snow;
And when the snow begins to fall,
It's like a bird upon the wall;
And when the bird away does fly,
It's like an eagle in the sky:
And when the sky begins to roar,
It's like a lion at the door;
And when the door begins to crack,
It's like a stick across your back;
And when your back begins to smart,
It's like a penknife in your heart;
And when your heart begins to bleed,
You're dead, and dead, and dead indeed

Boogie BUGIS!

2008-11-29T23:52:00.006+08:00

Since I am becoming reticent/laconic/taciturn, I would not be able to write much here. I shall post pictures instead. After all, a picture speaks a thousand words. That makes this post at least a 5000 word essay!

Take 1: The Successful Shot

Take 2 (With Icecream): Look Like Ghost -- FAIL

Take 3(With Icecream): Got Funny Effect -- FAIL

Take 4 (With Icecream): SUCCESSFUL =)

The Most Retarded Clown EVER!

Photos were take today at Bugis, where I, after a tremendous amount of searching, finally found a suit to wear to prom. I was relieved, so was my wallet (of cash).

And of course, I am grateful of the shopping companion and bagrack that helped (or more particularly, saikanged for me) me along the way. <3

Bored. And Slacking Off While Studying.

2008-11-16T18:28:00.003+08:00

From the Big Bang Theory by Chuck Lorre

Leslie (after having sex with Leonard):

Leonard, we’re not neural scientist but we all understand the neural chemistry of sex. Dopamine is released across synapses to give us the sensational feeling that we call an orgasm. Frankly speaking, if you place electrodes on the hypothalamus of a lab rat and gave it an orgasm button, it will push it until it starves to death. But we can’t stick electrodes in our brains and that’s where you come in.

Leonard:

… Glad to be of service…

Okay, I visited this stranger’s blog that I found unexpectedly. She writes mostly about her life. I figured she’s an introspective writer, like me. Anyway, I found several resemblances in our styles and use of words and all and I think it’s really cool. (Of course I assume that I’m cool. Why would I believe otherwise?)

Anyway, she wrote something like this:

Everyone says there are plenty of fish in the sea. But I can’t help but be reminded that there are plenty of fishermen, and in this case, fisherwomen too. And they have excellent bait. I’m blessed that I’m not swimming to catch anything, aren’t I?

Now that is cool, and extremely creative. But she gets boring when she starts to mention how she’ll drool and become paralyzed when she meets her idol, who apparently is this freaky and sickly Caucasian singer that no one really knows about.

By the way, Jimmy Carr rocks. He is easily one of the best comics around and his accent is just great. Catch him on Youtube. He will take all your sorrows away and bring you unending mirth.

Loved. Missed. Yearned.

2008-11-15T01:29:00.003+08:00

This is 1am sleep-deprived whiny/bitchy waihan talking. People who do not wish to indulge me in my narcissistic whines please read no further.

So, there have been some disturbing aberrations lately. (Holy shit! This sound so much like Mark Cheok bitching on his blog, but never mind, I’m not talking about academics anyway.) And it set me thinking, about whether I’ve become someone I don’t really like. Someone without courage, without faith, without hope.

I don’t believe in afterlife. At least I choose not to believe in it. When a person dies, she does not go to heaven, she does watch over me. She’s just dead. But her memory lives one, inside me. And this time, I might have betrayed these memories. I’m so sorry, but I haven’t been happy for a long while. I can’t seem to fulfill your dying wish.

But if there is an afterlife, then you’ll see me typing this, and holding my tears back at the same time. And you’ll know I think it’s damn unfair. Murderers, rapists and other rodents deserve to die, but not you. Sometimes I need you, like when I screw things up. But now, I have to clean my own shit up, and its not a good feeling – being responsible for myself.

I’m not even sure about my life right now. And no one seems to care. They’ll all go like, “do what you want to do.” Yea right, great advice! If only you had one more year, or two, or a decade. It’s unfair. I never wanted to do this. I never wanted you to leave. And you did, without a word. You ran away from my life, and everyone who needed you.

You know, sometimes I just feel like hurting myself again. I tried the other day. I couldn’t bring myself to really do it. I don’t care what my friends say, or my parents or whoever else. I couldn’t because I knew you wouldn’t like it. And you’ll be so sad if you ever knew.

So most days I just go through life like a zombie, not knowing what next to do, just getting through the motion. And life didn’t help at all.

I need to do something, anything. I need to know I can not be a mess.

Sometimes I wished I believed in god.

Things You Say When You Are Just So Deeply In Love.

2008-11-11T21:11:00.002+08:00

Disclaimer: Foul Language. R21 content with sexual references, violence and drugs.

I love econs. I truly do.

I remember when I first learnt Keynes, or Ricardo, or even Smith. It was a truly enlightening moment. It was like seeing the colors of the rainbow for the first time. Can you imagine the exhilaration?

But fuck Cambridge, seriously. What the fuck are those? Those aren’t even questions. They are fucking riddles. In china, the commies would call them 猜迷语.

I think I’ve just succinctly summarized what the econs essays were like today.

Here’s a huge middle finger for you Cambridge, I think you need to plug that leaking asshole and loose cunt of yours. Mother fucking transvestite son of a whore!

***

So, I’ve been thinking of what I’m going to do after A levels, that is, on the 20th. Marco has planned for a brudder’s ‘sunrise to sunset’ outing to paradiz for some lanning fun. But I guess no end-of-A-levels would be truly complete without booze. So I guess I’ll get a couple of shots just to get high enough to see the green fairies circling our beautiful earth. Besides, with Marco's organization skills, (please complete my sentence for me).

Bless you Gaea. Fuck the corps who pollute and destroy our green planet. Externalities can fuck off.

Then I think I need more booze. It can’t be healthy to be drinking so early in the morning so I guess I need to drink more in the afternoon and in the night to balance my intake of alcohol. I guess that’s called acclimatization in biology? I’m doubtful but I think Campbell will say I’m right.

Then, if I’m impulsive enough, I’ll book a flight to Amsterdam. Backpacking trip! Euro trip! Pet’s photos on facebook are making me super jealous. I need to leave the country, and wreak some havoc somewhere, and where better than pot-producing Amsterdam?

Marijuana FTW!

Again, fuck you fucked up mother fucking Cambridge.

(Fuck! My fucked up swear word vocabulary is fucking limited. Fuck! Fuck!)

Life's a Bitch

2008-11-09T20:16:00.001+08:00

"Life's a bitch and that just the way it is. You just have to do your own thing and not give a shit!"

Life's a Bitch | Private High Musical
Uploaded by privatehighmusical

It’s raining harder now.

2008-10-30T22:33:00.001+08:00

“I don't worry 'cuz
Everything's going to be alright
People keep talking they can say what they like
But all I know is everything's
going to be alright”

-Alicia keys

It’s starting soon. And it’s going to be fun. Three weeks of thinking, writing, drawing, and of course, scrambling for time. Who needs sex when you have A levels?

Killing Pervs 101

2008-10-25T23:12:00.003+08:00

It’s so easy to kill pervs that you won’t believe it.

Here are the steps:

1) Go to Skynet (Terminator Series) and secure a cyborg.

2) Dress the cyborg up like one of these girls.

3) Have the cyborg shoot laser beams at the dumbfounded, ogling pervs.

4) Laugh while the pervs melt/disintegrate.

Integrated Resort

2008-10-22T22:06:00.001+08:00

Questions. No answers.

2008-10-20T21:18:00.001+08:00

Wars result from conflicts between nations.

Arguments result from conflicts between persons.

What about conflicts between oneself?

What happens when you are not the only one occupying that body of yours? What happens when that other consciousness desires different things or have different opinions?

What if he screams in your head? What if you can’t pull him out of your head?

What if he takes over you?

What do you do?

What do I do?

Monologue Dialogue

2008-10-18T22:49:00.006+08:00

“It’s not fair.
It’s not fair to any of us.
Not now. You cannot do this now.
I’ve hidden well, locked it in a crypt so no one can see it.
You cannot unlock that which I locked away. You cannot undo my pains.
Because only you can. Because I will only let you.”

Says the tin man.

Karma Being A Bitch On The Last Day Of School

2008-10-10T22:41:00.000+08:00

If one has someone to open his/her heart to, who would actually like to hit on the rows of black squares in front of you and type monotonously?

Quite a number of people actually. The first people I can think of are those who, absolutely, wholeheartedly love writing. And then there are the losers who think that faceless strangers on the net can understand them better than their friends can.

Writing is not a substitute, it is a choice.

***

Anyway, today was the last official day of school, but it felt like any school day nonetheless. It wasn’t too special a day; we take pose for funky photos and listen to boring assemblies almost every other day! And today wouldn’t be the last day that we’re going to see our friends We’ll be stuck with them - whether we like it or not – for some time. I personally like it, but I’m not sure about the others like… (fill in your name if you’re an antisocial idiot.)

So, I sneaked out of class lunch, which was quite bad of me, considering that class gatherings would become more infrequent in the future and that I had missed the last one at Settler’s Café. But karma got back at me. That bitch (karma) gave me a massive headache when I went home from mugging at the library. I’m so sorry friends. I would go to the next outing, promise.

Lastly, to sum up my two years in JC with a quote from a friend: “you went from frivolous to kind of deep to another kind of frivolous”.

Lyrical

2008-10-06T23:53:00.001+08:00

"Do not stand at my
grave and weep
I am not there I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds
that blow
I am the diamond glints
on snow
I am the sun on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the
morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that
shine at night
Do not stand at my grave
and cry
I am not there; I did not die"

- You Will Make It by Jem.

Tears are not a sign weakness, but an indication that you are alive and capable of emotion. Tears celebrate your humanity.

Don’t be afraid to cry.

Don’t turn yourself into a robot devoid of emotions. Don’t turn into the tin man. I will not allow it.

Alternate End

2008-10-04T22:48:00.003+08:00

She didn't know how to break the news.

The tears were welling up in her eyes.

What's wrong? He asked.

She knew she shouldn't be sobbing.

But she did anyway. It is against Man’s nature to hold back one’s emotions. She was terribly sad so she had to cry. And even though she wouldn’t forgive herself for not being able to hold back her tears, everyone else, especially those who cared and loved her, would. She just didn’t know.

Evil sin. Unforgivable crime. He couldn't forgive her. He said it was his hope, and she dashed them. She dashed them.

She stood there sobbing, head hung low. It hurt him as much as it hurt her.

Yet it was not in his heart to hate her. No one can hate a girl like her, not even someone with a heart of steel. So, he inched towards her. Apprehensively at first, for he was battling the anger and disappointment inside him. Then it became easier; the initial emotions had gradually been replaced by the feelings of love.

He hugged her.

“Only weak girls cry,” she said, pushing him away.

He looked at her teary eyes, and he was amazed at how beautiful they were. And she stared at him too, surprised by the absolute lack of rage and resentment in his eyes.

“I love you and I forgive you,” he leaned forward and placed his lips on hers.

...

Bored. So Do Online Blog Quiz.

2008-10-02T23:10:00.003+08:00

If you won 100 million dollars what would you do?

What kind of car would you buy? - Big Ass black SUV.

Where in the country would you move to? - You mean Singapore? I think I'd move to some Huge Ass condo in Orchard. Otherwise, I'll be in a resort in the Maldives.

What kind of house would you buy? - Condo. Or a resort. Both must come with maids.

Would you give your family any money? - Why not? My parents raised me up well.

What charity would you donate to? - No idea. But I'll find out about their causes and finance management before donating.

Would you give your friends any money? - Treats, yes. Cash, no.

Where would you go on vacation? - Tour around Europe.

What luxury item would you buy first? - A really cool and flashy phone.

Would it change your life? - You mean the phone? Nope. It's only a phone. But the money certainly will.

Would you save any of it? - A quater. The rest would be in bonds, funds, trusts and shares.

Would it change your current relationship? - With? I'm not biting...

Would you quit your job? – I’d pay for my college education. Studying rocks! (That's the pre-SAT anf pre-Alevel WH talking.)

Would you ever work again? - Yes, to earn more money. You can't get enough of money.

What one task would you never do again? - Clean the freaking toilet.

What dream of yours would you be able to do? - I certainly hope it would be a wet one. Otherwise, i would buy a whole lot of crap from Ralph Lauren.

Would you change the way you dress? - See the above question.

Would you change anything about your body? - Like? Boob implants? Not my kind of thing.

Would you miss anything about not bring rich? - Miss poverty? No way.

Who would be the first person you tell? - My mother.

Would it bring you happiness? - I certainly hope so. Money improves my material standard of living no matter what, unless hyperinflation occurs and the purchasing power of the 100 million falls drastically.

FULLHOUSE

2008-09-29T22:28:00.002+08:00

I’ve got a good hand – As over Bs! It is definitely not as impressive as Quads or the legendary 5-of-a-kind but I think it’s decent. Poker is not all about how good your hand is anyway; it’s about how you play your hand!

Anyway, I want to thank a few people.

First, I want to thank my parents, for their love, care, the no-need-to-wash-dishes pass for the prelim weeks and the chicken essences.

Obviously I have to thank my teachers for all their guidance and support. (Okay, this is freaking clichéd.)

Next up, I would like to thank my mug-buddies - Ben and Lowell and all other non-regular stay-in-school muggers - for their great company. The world would be a cold and dark place without you guys.

Simin and Peixuan, thanks for encouraging me constantly by showing me how life can suck a whole lot more when you have art coursework. I appreciate it. It makes me appreciate my life a whole lot more.

Last but not least, thanks Tian for the never ending “go sleep” and “anti life sucks” nag and the encouragement and the Swensen’s treat and the… (Okay, there’s too many things. I can’t recall everything.)

Okay, I almost forgot about Aunty Julia. Thanks for entertaining me with your love escapades with the Hwa Chong Kid. I feel so much better when I know that I do not have a life.

With Pocket Aces, The River Flops Another Ace And A High Kicker. What will it be?

2008-09-26T23:35:00.003+08:00

Triplets?
Full House?
Or a Four of a Kind?

I pray hard for the third outcome.

***

Anyway, here's a "40 Things You Should Know About Me Survey" from Quizopolis.com

What color is your underwear right now? - Sexy Red.

What are you listening to right now? - Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls

Where are you right now? - In front of my computer. DUH!

What was the last thing you ate? - Pork chop.

If you were a crayon what color would you be? - Green? I love the environment.

How is the weather right now? - Cold. I'm in an airconditioned room.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? - Tian.

The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? - Face/Butt/Legs. Depending on which one grabs my attention first.

Favorite type of Food? - Chinese.

Do you drink? - Hell Yeah! Chivas, Bacardi, Absolut, you name it.

Do you smoke? - Only in exams. (Especially for GP, Bio essays and econs essays.)

Ever get so drunk you dont remember? - Nope. I hold my liquor well.

What color are your eyes? - Black.

Do you wear contacts? - I will, in the near future.

Single? - Sadly, yes.

Favorite Month? - February.

Ever cried for no reason? - I dehydrate easily, so no.

Last Movie you watched? - Blair Witch Project.

Favorite day of the week? - Tuesday?

Are you too shy to ask someone out? - Puas are never shy, not to mention bengs.

Hugs or Kisses? - Neither. I prefer benefits.

Chocolate or Vanilla? - Vanilla.

Do you want your friends to respond to this survey? - Yes, it will be fun.

Who is most likely to respond? - Depends on who really is bored enough.

Who is least likely to respond? - Santa, he owes me a FWB for christmas.

What books are you reading? - SAT II books. Yes I know I'm a nerd.

Piercings? - Soon, after the exams.

Fav. Movie? - Love Actually. Hugh Grant rocks, so does Keira Knightley.

Fav. baseball team? - Who the hell watches baseball? Yankees?

Any pets? - Digested.

AIM or Yahoo? - Yahoo. What the hell is AIM?

Butter, Plain or salted popcorn? - Butter!

Dogs or cats? - Dogs.

Fav. flower? - The one called "de". Let's see how many of you get this.

Have you ever fired a gun? - Which one? (Think Muttons at Midnight.)

Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car? - I like tanks. APCs are cool too.

Right handed or left handed? - Right.

How many pillows do you sleep with? - Uno.

Are you missing someone? - Yes, I'm missing CaiShen, Angelina Jolie and Blake Lively.

What is the sexiest thing to do? - Dress up as a secretary, bend over a huge mahogany desk and lick your lips really slowly and seductively.

The Road Thus Far

2008-09-23T02:22:00.001+08:00

Three days ago, the prelims ended – with chemistry MCQ, a paper so tight and so hard it left everyone shocked and baffled. But since it’s only prelims, no one actually gives a crap about it. After all, academic exercises are just what they are - exercises. So the day continued with a visit to Muihong and 9 hours of lanning fun. 9 hours, no kidding; it’s the longest time ever that we’ve spent as a group in the lan center. Dota, CS, and a little bit of Battlefield 2 – life was good for those 9 hours. It reminds me of the good old days – the days without A levels and all the bull associated with it. I almost forgot how I loved gangbanging, fragging and swearing at my friends.

After the day of absolute bliss at the lan shop, I was pretty much hooked on NBA live, wrestling, and this Hong Kong comic. I was so addicted that I couldn’t even read half a page of the SAT biology book. I guess that repressed gamer/slacker inside me took complete control of my mind and body the moment prelims ended. I better lock that bastard back into his hole/dungeon/cage inside my heart soon, at least until 20th November. Again, I cannot stress enough about how the As is really bullshit.

On Sunday, I went to Suntec with Julia to watch some yoyo competition. I think its called the “Eastside YoYo Competition”, “Eastside” as in the east half of the island. It’s the first time I’ve heard people actually split our puny island into half and host a regional competition within the country. It’s quite cute, but also quite retarded. (Sorry Julia.) Anyway, the guys there were really cool. The tricks looked awesome and awesomely difficult. I never knew you could do such things with a yoyo. For the record, Julia DID NOT look like she had trotters for legs when she wore a mini skirt, but obviously she could have done better with another 5 centimeters or so. (Again sorry, it’s 2 am and I’m obviously tired and not thinking straight. I liked the tank/tube top though. But I can’t really tell since you wore a jacket.)

Then today, or rather yesterday, I met up with Tian at J8 so she could treat me to lunch. I love free lunches! She had a beef baked rice while I had sourdough burgers. The baked rice really sucked, because, from what I saw, she left half of the tomato/cheese mess uneaten. The burgers weren’t that fantastic either, but hey, who am I to complain. I didn’t pay for it. I should be glad I don’t have to survive on cup noodles. (Thanks again for the treat, next time we’ll go somewhere nicer, like Yumcha, or the Asian Kitchen. To hell with western food. Botak Jones and Ikea beat all other restaurants.) So after the not as fulfilling as expected lunch, we went back to my place to watch The Exorcist and The Blair Witch project. Whoever told me those two movies were scary is a serious wuss. The Exorcist was more like The Hypnotist – it was freaking boring! And the parts where the girl was supposed to be possessed looked like a comedy. And of course, Blair Witch was a bad April’s fool joke – we spent 1 hour watching retards hike in the woods. (Again again, I am so sorry we got scammed by my wussy friends.) When we were sufficiently bored, we went to school to spy on our dear artists. Simin looks okay, since she’s almost done. But Peixuan looks positively stressed since… (We will pray for you everyday so that you may finish your piece in time and we certainly hope you don’t sustain any mental/physical damage while you’re at it.)

So, that concludes the road thus far. The next pit stop would be SATs on October 4 and right after that would be the dreaded As on November 4. Let’s all study hard and complete this overly difficult marathon together!

But first, let’s hope the brudder’s and ld outings turn out.

2008-09-15T18:39:00.000+08:00

LJ quiz

2008-09-12T22:18:00.001+08:00

1. Someone who seems to have a lot of close friends.
Lowell

2. Someone you've known for a long time.
4B brudders. DUH

3. Someone you'd like to trade places with.
Andy Neo (if this is restricted to people I know), I love the daily hand phone change and the chauffeur mom. But obviously I want to trade places with Hugh Hefner.

4. Someone who seems likely to be a member of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
Si En and Nicole.

5. Someone who seems like a chatterbox.
Chong. About his unfulfilling/non-existent love life.

6. Someone who seems to have a lot of wild ideas / fantasies.
Chong. Again about his love life.

7. Someone who seems like they were popular at school.
Marco and Warren and Bastard Lim. Freaking Pimps.

8. Someone you think you would have been close to if you went to school together.
Aunty Julia. Oh wait, we ARE close.

9. Someone you want to stay up all night talking to.
I like Meiyi’s voice.

10. Someone who can look after children.
Mom. (Both the real one and the fake one.)

11. Someone who seems to fall in love a lot.
Chong. Eh this name appear one too many times.

12. A beauty.
Erm in school? Too many and I don’t want to look like some perv here. But I love Angelina Jolie the most. Blake Lively’s super hot too.

13. Someone who seems like a celebrity.
Mia.

14. Somone who is girly / manly
Mia.

15. Someone you want to dress up as the opposite gender.
Mathan. In sexy spandex.

16. Someone grown-up.
Mom.

17. Someone childlike.
Me =)

18. Someone who is like a princess / prince.
Ada, who, till this day, still thinks that she IS a princess.

19. Someone who seems capable.
Shida, I give this one to you.

20. Someone who has a unique view on life.
Lowell.

21. Someone S-type.
What’s this?

22. Someone M-type.
M for masochistic?

23. Someone you think of as your boss.
I am my own boss. Okay, maybe Tian likes to boss me around.

24. Someone who would kill you if you got on their bad side.
Chong. And obviously he feels like killing me right now if he had read this.

25. Someone who seems good at seduction.
Bastard Lim. He invented the “berns”.

26. Someone you think you could seduce.
Angelina Jolie!!!

27. Someone who loves with all their heart.
Haven’t met such a person yet.

28. Someone you want to see in cosplay.
YingShi. In a Sumo wrestler’s costume.

29. Someone you seriously want to go on a date with.
Like I would tell you guys. If you’re a close friend, I’ll tell you AFTER the date.

30. A message to all the above people
Don’t be offended. The Quiz is supposed to be fun.

The Vagina Monologues

2008-09-09T16:24:00.003+08:00

THE YEAR’S SEXIEST PLAY

THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES
R18 (Adult Content & Strong Language)

Written by Eve Ensler

This October, Zebra Crossing Productions brings you the year’s sexiest play to hit our shores - The Vagina Monologues. This multiple-award winning play by Eve Ensler is given a fresh new twist by Loretta Chen, director of 251 and MAGICBOX. Boasting a stellar cast of diverse and dynamic women, The Vagina Monologues is a powerful collection of anecdotes celebrating all things feminine - part therapy, part informative, wholly electrifying! Starring Malaysia’s top model Bernie Chan (Project Runway Malaysia, The Odd Couple), Judy Ngo (Mad Forest, Chestnuts), Elizabeth Tan (Mama’s Wedding, Belles in Action) and a host of other formidable women, The Vagina Monologues is a visual and aural feast of curves, flesh and finesse.

Whether you are a Man from Mars or Woman from Venus, join us in this earth shattering, no holds barred theatrical experience! As long as you are above 18, make this your mandatory night out as we celebrate all things wild, wonderful and women!

Okay, this is interesting. And the review's great too!

Who's up for it? It's in Oct.

BIIIIITCH!

2008-09-08T21:45:00.002+08:00

The prelims are underway and I’m sick as a dog with rabies. I cough like one too. I can’t believe that I’m this unlucky, or that life isthis unfair. But, maybe, just maybe, this is a sign, a blessing, a lesson – that life is not just about studying. Except that it is. At least while I’m still stuck in this crap-hole called j2.

Life is a giant guillotine. And I have a strange feeling I’m next in line.

***
I need more magic pencil smses - i just dropped 8 marks today because i misread "inflation rate" for "interest rate". Damn! That hurt.

Life As It Is

2008-08-31T01:13:00.002+08:00

The melatonin pill is under my tongue. It is slowly dissolving, and sending waves of drowsiness to my brain. I should be sleeping in a while. It is late. No one, perhaps with the exception of owls, bats, vampires and hyperactive-and-diligent-students, should be awake at this ungodly hour.

I write this to reflect upon my life for the past month. (Today will be the last day of august!) I try not to continue with the sentence: “life sucked, and it has been sucking for a long time now”, but I just can’t help not telling the truth. A quick reference to Kwok Leung or Marco’s blog would show that there are endless – yes, I mean endless – topics that we have to study. And yet the prelims are just a week away. How and where do we find the time to complete everything? In hell, maybe. In that red, burning hell called “hardcore mugging”.

Then again, I shouldn’t be complaining. What I have to do is nothing compared to the tribulations of students taking art, history or TSD classes. But it’s certainly not my fault that they chose those subjects. In any case, I will fight them with my bio. So I won’t feel sorry for them and I think they aren’t sorry for themselves either. Nonetheless they’ll receive a huge “JIAYOU!” from me. We’ll all jiayou and rape prelims. (Obviously no one wants prelims to rape him/her.) And for our dear artists, here’s a special jiayou for your coursework (if you have time to even read this, that is).

Alright, the effects of the pill are really kicking in. its time for me to wander into lalaland. Goodnight and good luck to everyone. I hope the world turns out to be a better place when the sun rises tomorrow.

Entertainment

2008-08-25T22:47:00.008+08:00

I shall aim to keep this blog as entertaining as possible despite the mundaneness of studying for the prelims. GP will not rob me of my love for writing. Tabloids for the win!

First up, here’s a moral dilemma for the guys: To look or not to look. That is the question.

If there is this hot girl wearing ultra-short FBTs sitting next to you and she decides to lie down on the bench, do you look (or even sneak a peek) at her perfectly formed glutes? And if you’re more of a leg guy, do you ogle at the pair of perfection that seems to go on forever?

I, for one, had not the strength of will to break out of my species’ (the male species) curse – I looked, but only for a split second. I had fallen prey to circumstance’s temptations. What about you guys?

Of course, as a studious mugger, I would like to extend this scenario to illustrate the concept of profit satisficing as taught in our Economics module. As you can see, my decision on whether to look at that babe’s ass (and for how long) is determined primary by 3 factors. They are my rational mind, my conscience and my lust. My mind would advise me against staring at her because I could end up in a great deal of trouble and embarrassment if I got caught. (Did I forget to mention that she had buff guy-friends around her?) Similarly, my conscience would not permit me to stare simply because ogling at girls is immoral. (Check the bible out for specific references.) Yet, lust compels me to stare, for as long as possible. In a case where they are conflicting aims, the brain evaluates the outcomes of all possible actions and comes up with a course of action that somewhat satisfies each aim. As a result, I decided to peek, just for a second. This decision is optimal because, firstly, it limits the chances that I get caught, and secondly, it diminishes the guilt that I would feel, for a peek could be deemed as accidental, while at the same time fulfilling the primitive and under-evolved beast within me.

Congratulations if you have read thus far, for you have just read about a whole lot of crap that you can never quote in an exam. But I do hope you are sufficiently entertained.

Next up, I have an exclusive of photo mum (Xiu Hue). Certain people have asked me if I liked Dawn when they saw her photo posted on my blog 2 days ago. I guess I will spark off another wave of controversies by posting mum’s photo here. But I’ll clarify this time, just to avoid the dumb questions. Yes, I absolutely, with all my heart, love my mum. Who doesn’t?

Mum and her brother (who by association is my uncle). Mum insists that her brother has always been handsome and is now even more suave since he has lost weight in army.

I think she looks really funny in that gown and shawl.

Saved From Boredom =)

2008-08-23T00:41:00.005+08:00

Mugging’s boring and crappy. But some people are just hugely entertaining. I love them! <3

Aminah’s other side

Case 1:

Aminah keeps a huge bottle of semen sample to use in her coursework. I wonder who the donors are.

Case 2:

Random art guy (with clay on his hands): Chin Yang, take my phone out for me.

Random art guy turns and shows Chin Yang the pocket.

Chin Yang reaches into his pocket.

Wai Han (which is me): Wow! Hot GAY ACTION! He’s reaching into his pants!

Chin Yang, after a skillful maneuver, whips it out.

Aminah: It’s huge!

Nobody knew Aminah had a fetish for huge…

Dawn’s other side (or rather, her usual side)

Case 1:

Who knew Dawn looks like Sadarko with her hair down?

Case 2:

Who’s this girl? Any guesses? And what about the guy? This is kind of scandalous.

With No Other But Memories

2008-08-21T00:54:00.000+08:00

Walking home alone at night has had a strange effect on me. It is quiet at night, except for the occasional traffic. The ground is wet from rain in the day, so you can see your foot steps as you walk along the empty streets. The night presents itself as a perfect opportunity for melancholic reflections. And I became victim to the night’s lures. My footsteps slowed and my mind drifted stealthily into my darkest memories - memories that I ought to forget.

080808

2008-08-09T21:22:00.002+08:00

Tennis, soccer, bridge, mad magazine, and taboo are all ingredients for a great class outing to Ada’s house. Oh, and I’m not forgetting the BBQ and the 望情水 mixed with orange syrup. Thanks to everyone who came and of course Ada and the BBQ cooks.

I had a great deal of fun yesterday. But the best takeaway from last night was this nice deep cut, a result of the effective collision between Chong, my specs and my eye.

i hope the scar will be cool

BIG DAY! MOFO A LEVELS YOU SONOVABIATCH!

2008-07-31T23:34:00.002+08:00

Today is Thursday. Tomorrow will be Friday. I will start to hit the books on Monday. Monday will be a big day for me; it signifies the start of a period of hardcore mugging – no bullshit, no distractions, just plain mugging.

I dread that day like a 39 year old woman dreads her 40th birthday. Hardcore mugging takes the joy out of living. Seriously, what’s life without long conversations, jokes, gossip, gaming, and slacking? But I know I will regret it if I don’t start studying. Mugging sucks, but regret sucks more. So I will stick to my plan, as closely as I possibly can.

Of course, company of friends is always welcomed. Peer motivation may be the best form of encouragement for lonely lonely me.

Three freaking months. Life freaking sucks, but I can do this.

Tertiary Education is a Pain in the Ass

2008-07-20T21:08:00.003+08:00

Seriously, university applications are a pain. First there’s SATs which basically means time and effort and a ton of stress. Then there’s the application process itself which requires essay after essay after essay – a never ending process. I’m quite sure they (the universities) think I’m a narcissistic bastard who likes to boast about himself. How thoughtful of them! After the applications, I would have to worry about scholarships and costs. Seriously, the stress just piles up, as if I’m not already knee-deep in crap.

But oh well, life IS a bitch. I’ll just have to tame her and make her MY bitch. So, in order to acquire the necessary skills to tame the bitch, I attended talk after talk, seminar after seminar and I even signed up for SAT II! Seriously, I’m so proactive I’m sure to own that bitch! At least I hope so; I don’t want to end up with no school to go to!

Anyway, I went to the US Universities fair today. The place is really crowded. We literally had to squeeze in between people to even move! I went to most universities that I was interested in, like UIUC, Chicago, Berkeley, Cornell, Georgetown… I think the experience overseas will be great. Just imagine the number of great clubs! I might even get to meet an mPUA! How exciting! Okay, I digressed. Moving swiftly back to the fair, I think it was fun. I mean, you get to meet AngMohs and admire the speed at which they speak English. Quite fascinating, isn’t it? Then there are Asians who speak with a funny pseudo-American accent, which, of course, I think is cool. Asians FTW~!

After talking to most of the reps at the fair, we (Tian, Sam and I) decided to go shopping. The fair was starting to get boring by then. We walked around Suntec, Marina and Raffles City. I think we covered a HUGE area, or so say our sore feet. In the end, I was the only guy with a bounty – a chic polo tee from FOX. But Sam and I both got chocolates from Umeya for our respective birthday girls. Poor Tian, the really empty-handed one, had to carry our bags while we zoomed in and out of the changing rooms. I guess she took over Aminah as our maid today. Thanks dear!

Happy Shoppers!

My eyes are closed because I am attaining Nirvana

I’ll end off with an advertisement. It’s a project that I am extremely proud of! So, without further ado, New Urban Beng productions proudly present Extreme Makeover: Wai Han Edition!

Thanks Tian for being part of the cast and for trying out countless other ugly clothes

Building Wall Is Very Fun

2008-07-12T23:54:00.000+08:00

Building wall is very fun.

Building wall is very…

Building wall…

Building…

The dwarf carefully fixes the last piece of brick. At last, the wall was done. The dwarf takes a step back and gazes at the newly erected wall. It looks so strong, he thought to himself, it would surely protect me.

The dwarf was pleased. But little did he know that the wall, however protective it may be, deprives him of any contact with the rest of the world.

Weekend Escapades

2008-07-07T21:56:00.010+08:00

Let’s see, my MP3 insists on transforming itself into a complex-looking piece of scrap metal despite by best efforts at coaxing it back to life. Why do all my MP3s spoil? It’s not as if I’ve mistreated them in any way? Why do they punish their caring and responsible owner by denying him emo music? Life isn’t fair.

Next, I know I will lose a hell lot of cool points by publishing this, but YIFANG IS SUPER CUTE! What the hell, I’ll live on this crush for the at least the next three days.

Sunday was fun. But the both of us could have decided to sleep at a sane hour the night before. We totally looked like zombies after touring the Bugis at least three times. At one point we were just lost and walking around in circles, which, to be fair, was a unique experience. I was treated to some Korean rice cake, which I would say tasted pretty good. But it was far to overpriced. Perhaps the store owner thought she could scam my petite friend. Oh well, I guess that’s one of the disadvantages of being small. But being small has its advantages as well - like she could squeeze through the tiniest of crevices in a crowd! So for the most part I was always walking behind her. For those who know, you can think of me as the larger piece of DNA in a piece of electrophoresis gel.

No matter how fun Sunday was, Saturday remains the highlight of the week. The lion dancers met up at Kallang to go dragon boating. As usual, Aminah decided to oversleep and turn up late. How typical of her. After the late maid arrived, CY decided to show of the map reading skills she learned in Geography class and lead us to the place. But, as we all expect, it didn’t turn out too well. At Kallang River, we met the NUS dragon boating babes who were supposed to facilitate us. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but YIFANG IS SUPER CUTE! (Oh shit, now’s not the time to be crushing anyone.) Anyway, we had a blast on the boat. Just a few examples: the guys rocked the boat and scared the shits/screams out of girls. Then Sam and I splashed water at the girls with our huge paddles, inviting some retaliation and a lot of annoyed screams.

When it ended, we took to the showers at Kallang Park. But since life’s a bitch, the showers at Kallang Park were spoilt, leaving us basically stranded without water. So the guys decided to man it out and bath at the sink, which is perfectly visible to the public. I wasn’t too embarrassed, but I was afraid that people might feel inferior after seeing some waihan meat. (Okay, that sounded a little too porn-like. But seriously, the scene in the toilet was totally hilarious!) And that was my first time bathing in public – like the herbal essences commercial.

Then it was all seriousness at the PSC fair. Futures were at stake. But Wai Han could always steal a little fun by talking to the cute promoter at Spring Singapore. Overall, talks were informative and engaging. I could totally see myself applying for the firefly scholarships already. (Wait for me, cutie from Spring! You can share me with YIFANG)

After the talk, the gang went to dinner at orchard. Sadly, I had to pass on YMCA Afterglow. Dinner was great fun like all other LD dinners. I discovered three very important things. One, Tian doesn’t eat beef tendons. Two, Aminah is actually dumb enough to order some suspiciously looking peanut noodle which tastes weird. Crystal Jade doesn’t accept NETs.

Alright, that’s all folks! I am a happy boy right now. And this happiness will probably end the moment I open a new document to bullshit about my 3 best achievements in RJ.

Cool dudes by the sea

Crazy expressions

I think she scares the hell out of me

Check out my man-boobs!

SPASM FTW!

Wonderful day with wonderful people

Lovely night with lovely people

Pandy Has A Friend!

2008-07-04T23:23:00.001+08:00

Did I ever mention that Pandy had a friend? I think I didn’t. Anyway, Pandy made a friend after his transformation. His name is Chink the china robot. Chink the china robot is made in china. (Obviously.) Like all other Chinese products, Chink is manufactured with the latest technology pirated from various leading electronics companies. Coated with an absurdly pretty layer of lead paint, Chink is undoubtedly one of the more aesthetically appealing models of his cohort. Despite his suave appearance, Chink is as likely to blow up as his other mass-produced counterparts. All made-in-china electronics blow up, sooner or later, so be really careful when you purchase them.

Back to the story. Pandy and Chink hit off really well. I guess they are equally screwed up besides the fact that they are both non-living things. One day they decided to go for ice cream. They found the vendor in the park. It’s one of those small mobile vendors who sell cones in the morning/afternoon heat. So Pandy got a chocolate cone while Chink, being a Chinese immigrant, got a green bean cone (whose color basically resembles bird poo). I am very puzzled as to why the vendor actually sold them the cones, for I would definitely freak out when a bionic teddy and a lead-painted robot suddenly approach me out of the blue. In any case, the vendor sold them the cones and remained unscathed.

So the two friends settled on a park bench and began gossiping. They talked about national affairs, global trends and the bitch Pandy just killed. Suddenly, Chink felt a burning sensation in his torso and began glowing. Soon he was red all over and hot as hell. Then, in the most abrupt manner possible, Chink blew up. Metal parts flew all over the place and the impact of the blast shattered the cone Chink was holding and sent the ice cream darting in all directions. But most of the bird shit colored cream ended up on Pandy’s face since he was closest to ground zero. I guess ‘splat’ is the appropriate sound.

A shocked Pandy looked at his dead new-found friend in disbelief. Unsure if Chink were really dead, Pandy touched one of his charred wires. That set off a second blast that blackened Pandy’s face totally. Alright, Chink is confirmed to be dead, Pandy thought to himself, I’ll be a lonely, hideous, unlovable, self-destructive teddy all over again.

Regal Rigour

2008-07-03T00:03:00.001+08:00

Coke plus whisky equals bliss, that is, before the depressing effects of alcohol set in.

First, a commentary about Chivas Regal: Chivas is really good alcohol; it has a smoky taste to it that is very different from rum and vodka. I really like it compared to the other 2 spirits which basically taste like petrol. Besides, whisky and coke make a superb combination that owns a screwdriver (orange + vodka) any day.

Next, let’s examine the depressing effects of alcohol. Basically it makes you emo, angsty or whatever. Correction. Alcohol does not, by itself, make you emo, it merely intensifies the feeling. Now I know why half the poets and lyricists in the world must be drunk before they compose. But unlike the great writers of the world, I have not the heart to embrace such amplified melancholy.

Alright, that’s about all. I shall sleep the alcohol off. Let’s pray that I don’t get a hangover tomorrow. (I still don’t understand how hangovers come about; their occurrence seem random to me.)

Pandy Strikes Back

2008-06-30T00:47:00.002+08:00

A sequel to the first Pandy Story:

Just like he wished it to be, Pandy ended up in an incinerator. He got burned quite badly, but not entirely. His head only suffered minor burns. So, when the fired burned itself out, Pandy was very much alive. And a collosal amount of luck, he got picked up by one of the scientists touring the rubbish dump.
The scientist worked on Pandy day and night, and eventually reconstructed Pandy with the latest technology available to mankind.

So Pandy was born again, in the literal sense, with a ventilator stuck to his head and bionic arms to go with his titanium enhanced trunk. (Think Darth Vader.) Now Pandy is no longer inanimate. He could pick things up with his steel digits and he could lift weights that required the combined strength of ten men. After countless months of physiotherapy and grueling training, Pandy was finally in control of his new-found capabilities. He was elated, and he was so happy that he almost forgot about his past. Almost…

One thing was on his mind – revenge! He knew he must let both of them pay for their sins, at least in full. So he plotted - he will kill the son of a bitch and burn the bitch. When his plans were finalized, Pandy set out to attain vengeance.

First, Pandy jumped the son of a bitch while he was alone one night and beat the crap out of him till he was reduced to human pulp. Then Pandy twisted his head. It was sweet revenge, and it was even more fulfilling to see him lie on ground lifeless – like he used to be. Then it was the bitch’s turn. Pandy knew he would enjoy making her pay. Her death would be simple. He would sneak into the house while she was alone, knock her out, tie her to the bed, turn on the gas and throw a lighted match into the methane-filled apartment. It was gratifying to see the house explode. It almost looked like fireworks. And Pandy knew, for certain, that all that is left of the bitch would be tiny pieces of charred flesh.

It was done! He did it! He killed all who hurt him. But the gratification didn’t last. He felt like he did something wrong, like a part of him has died. He wrestled with that feeling. He battled with it so hard that he fell to the ground, writing in pain. After five minutes he stood up and stared at the burning house, and behind the ventilator that concealed his face emerged a grin so wide and sinister that it would scare everyone, including himself.

***

"One’s plans might often backfire on the road of fervent search."

Pandy, The Unlovable, Self-Destructive Teddy Bear

2008-06-27T16:15:00.004+08:00

Story time! Alright, I was supposed to have written this a really really long time ago. I never finished writing the story cos’ I was too busy/mugging/talking to people/not in the mood. But I finished it today; that’s all that matters. Besides, a good writer never meets his datelines.

So here’s Pandy, the unlovable, self-destructive Teddy Bear! Comments are welcomed.

Contrary to what most people might think, Pandy isn’t a hopeless romantic. Heck, he isn’t anything near romantic. If one measures the success of a teddy bear by the number of cuddles he got his owner, then Pandy would be an underachiever, for he hadn’t been hugged by his owner for a long time.

But that wasn’t always the case. He used to be the most popular of the stuff toys. His owner, Jane, loved him the most. She would talk to him all night even though he is but a lifeless stuffed toy. She would tell him all about her life. Sometimes, she would even cry in front of him. It pains him to see her cry, but he knew that once she cuddled him, her tears would stop flowing. It felt really good to know that he had such therapeutic effects on Jane. It felt so good that he fell in love with her.

Those were the good-old-days, the days that he would fall asleep every night in her arms. Sad to say, those days were over sooner than he expected. It was on that fateful morning that Jane brought Philip home. Philip was the boy in Jane’s class. Jane was fond of Philip, and Philip was fond of her too, albeit in a pre-adolescent kind of way. As the days passed, Philip gradually - and inconspicuously - replaced Pandy. For one, Jane’s late night monologues were substituted with phone calls from Philip.

A jealous Pandy tried to fight back, but there was only so much an inanimate stuffed toy could do. To make matters worse, he was old and dirty and not even half as cute as what he used to be. So one day he gave up loving Jane. He even told himself she was not the one. Perhaps no one was the one, no one except alcohol. Yes, as you guessed it, Pandy escaped into the semi-conscious realm of drunkenness. You must be wondering, how could a teddy bear without fingers pick up any booze? Alright, I admit, Pandy didn’t drink per se, he merely imagined that he drank and voluntarily ventured into drunk-land without the alcohol-induced push.

All was good in drunk-land for Pandy for a while. He almost forgot the pain of losing Jane. But slowly, painful memories of Jane crept back to him and he needed more and more booze (more vivid imaginations) to drown those sorrows. Until one day he gave up fighting those memories. He let them consume him. He relived every excruciating moment of his past, until he realized there was really no point in living anymore. (And that is some serious epiphany for someone who isn’t alive in the first place!) So, with great determination and a little help from Michael, Jane’s mischievous brother, he cut open his stomach with a pair of scissors. Stinking yellowish cotton flowed out of his impaled midsection and he lay on the floor, defeated and lifeless.

But he had always been lifeless. It was too late when he realized he can’t really be dead since he isn’t alive in the first place. Jane’s mum picked him up and shoved him down the rubbish chute. God knows what would happen to him! Hopefully he would be incinerated so that he could, for certain, cease to exist.

Godspeed Pandy!

P.S. I got the idea from Jon Kasdan’s In the Land of Women.

And We Must Take The Current When It Serves

2008-06-25T23:54:00.002+08:00

Brutus:

There is a tide in the affairs of men.
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.

Julius Caesar Act 4, scene 3, 218–224

This sounds like some advice urging us to seize the day. It would be some great advice if not for the fact that opportunities are often elusive and unseen. Really, if I could see a flood coming my way, I would definitely hop onto a piece of floating wood and ride the wave. But more often than not, you'll never know the flood has come until the sudden surge of water knocks you unconscious and pushes you into the abyss of “should-haves”.

Perhaps things were simpler and more clear-cut in Brutus’ time. Or maybe the great Brutus had gifts of foresight and instinct. Sadly, life, as we know it, is complex and gifts are uncommon, causing many missed opportunities.

The conclusion? Life's a bitch that refuses to be tamed.

Positive Regulation

2008-06-25T00:20:00.002+08:00

The way guys use vulgarities is an excellent illustration of positive regulation. If you observe carefully, once one guy starts saying “f**k you”, another guy will, more often than not, say “no, f**k you… ”, and thus the battle of words (and barrage of profanity) begins. Before you know it, the group of guys would have used at least 10-20 “f**k(s)”, 5-10 “ch** bye(s)” and a few “screw you(s)” - an exponential increase from the initial use of a few “f**k(s)”.

Like any regulation system, the use of profanity tends to feed on itself. Thus it ceases after a few rounds verbal exchanges (i.e. after 5 mins). After all, there are only that many offensive words you can hurl at your opponent. And certainly no one would bother to holler at anyone for more than 5 minutes – it’s just a waste of time and effort.

So that’s profanity for you, a positively regulated system that is limited by vocabulary and effort.

Knowledgeable Girls

2008-06-21T13:24:00.002+08:00

Mugging with Charlene earned me some interesting new vocab. Actually Charlene was quite dumb/innocent; I learned the new word from Nat.

So here’s the word – Daisy Chain/Train

From the Urban Dictionary, a Daisy Chain refers to a sexual position involving multiple partners. One partner is pleasuring another, usually orally; the second is pleasing a third, and so on. The word is usually applied to homosexual males having a "chain" of oral sex.

Daisy chain sounds sophisticated but I still prefer the term ‘circular DNA’.

Untitled

2008-06-17T22:42:00.002+08:00

Out of the night that covers me
black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soul

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeonings of chance
my head is bloody, but unbowed

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
looms but the horror of the shade
and yet the menace of the years
finds, and shall find me, unafraid

It matters not how strait the gate
how charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul

"Invictus,"
by William Earnest Henley

I wish I were as strong as Henley.

Crytic Nonsense

2008-06-15T19:02:00.001+08:00

“There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.”
-George Bernard Shaw

Clearly Shaw has his heart broken once, for he deems his entire life tragic. But he is, at the same time, a loser – a loser who doesn’t know who to stand up after a fall. When things don’t go your way, do you give up? No. You fight like hell. Only when that is not enough then you have earned your right to surrender.

Besides, it is never a tragic to gain your heart’s desire. In fact, it should be a joyful and unforgettable moment. Not once have I even felt remotely negative about achieving my heart’s desire. Even when I lose my heart’s desire, I am thankful for the experience and I wouldn’t exchange it for the world.

‘Tragedy’ should be reserved for something more serious, more heartbreaking, like the loss of a loved one, not for something you never had.

Return of the Rant

2008-06-03T23:13:00.009+08:00

It is now 11am as I am typing this. I’ve only been awake for less than 4 hours, yet I feel exhausted. Not physically tired but mentally/emotionally/spiritually drained.

It must be school, in particular JC. JC has a way of turning people into unfeeling mugging-machines. Its effects are so pervasive and intrusive that it eats away your life even during the holidays when you’re supposed to be properly distanced from school.

…

Time dragged itself past me and it is now 11pm. Since this morning, I haven’t done anything productive despite constant annoyance from my conscience. Studying is so frustrating. Since you’re going forget most things that you have studied, what’s the point of studying at all? So that you can forget about it and study the same things all over again the next time? I don’t think so. And solving math sums all day without guidance adds to the frustration. In fact, you can think of the math sums as C4 detonators. Yes, I am ready to explode, just pull the trigger! Thank you very much.

I guess today is just not my day. I shall be glad that I didn’t trip on myself and fall flat on the hallway. May be I should write this instead: dear life, even though you’re an ass, I really want to thank you for keeping me alive and well for the day. Being positive is the only way to live a sad and lonely and lousy life, since life will only get better when hell freezes over.

Alright! Enough self-pity crap. Yesterday was a blast. LD seriously rocks my socks! BBQ was like super fun even though we didn’t dunk anyone in the pool. But I think we can give that a miss, since we absolutely love each other so much.

Here are some of the photos (some are part of my personal collection for obvious reasons):

Makan!

Yum! Bacon rocks

Camwhoring FTW

Uncle...

Are We Both A Little Drunk?

Beware! Repulsive Image

Look Like Monkey

This Girl Always Look Like Sadarko

Gang That Stayed To The End

I Personally Love This One

I <3 LD.

The Devolution of RJ’s Bio Notes

2008-06-01T02:10:00.001+08:00

If you bio-students out there haven’t realized, the last good set of notes that you’ve received from the great and prestigious RJC biology department was the set on Organization of the Eukaryotic Genome – and that set was distributed last year! I’m not a fussy person, so any set of notes that is well organized and reader-friendly would be considered good by my standards. But apparently, the bio department has not lived up to my standards, however low they are.

It all started with Kum Kit and his Theory of Evolution. Oh wait! Kum Kit didn’t invent the theory of evolution; Darwin did. He merely used the theory to confuse us, as if Darwin himself hasn’t already done that.

Maybe you guys don’t believe that RJ's notes suck. Let me prove you wrong: Like all other bio notes, evo-notes had a learning outcomes page, which students rarely read – seriously, I wonder why they print it in the first place. Next to that was an 800-1000 word essay by the upstart modern philosopher, Kum Kit, on evolution in today’s context – great job Kum Kit, I totally need KI crap in my bio notes. After that crap essay was a long list of information about evolution packaged in the most convoluted prose you can think of. Imagine Shakespeare writing the Origin of Species.

Things improved a bit after Kum Kit. I think the teachers realized that Kum Kit has been feeding us with too much KI smoke that we have no idea what evolution is about. So they have no choice but to buck up and give us notes that we can actually understand.

But the later notes still suck. The organization is atrocious; important concepts are left hanging everywhere. There is simply no focus. If you were to see the Genetically Modified Organisms notes, you would know what I’m talking about. We have random examples and crap thrown at our faces and we aren’t even taught how to use them! WTH.

Seriously, thanks for the crap. I guess we just have to figure for ourselves how to convert that crap into biofuel.

From Bio to Crap to Mum to Orgasms

2008-05-29T21:20:00.001+08:00

Why does it look so much like speciation? Seriously, it’s almost as if they have latched onto a biological niche and began breeding. By doing so, they’ve created a huge barrier to isolate themselves from the rest of the population. The vicious cycle would continue and soon, a new generation of offspring with a really weird pool of genes would be born. I feel sick to know that I have anything to do with this. Really, why in the world have things come to this?

I will – no, I must – get away from this.

Alright, what I’ve wrote above is totally random, but I had to let it out because it irks me too much.

Moving on to talk about my life, which is nothing much actually, I really want to bitch. Seriously, I’ve had one of the worst mornings of my life. It’s the kind of mornings that tiny, seemingly harmless, mishaps accumulate to blow you up. Taken one at a time, I could probably control my emotions. But I was caught off guard when these little things got strung up together and thrown into my face. I flared up, well, sort of – I did nothing but punch the mirror in the lift while screaming ‘f**k’.

That was all, I swear. I didn’t do anything too drastic or anything that would land me in anger management class for that matter. And that was all thanks to mum! Yes, my lovely mum who actually bothered to cheer me up, while drilling some sense into my fuming brains. Really, mums are great, especially mums who are as old as you.

The day got significantly better in the afternoon. I indulged in One Tree Hill and orange juice and cookies, all of which made me feel a lot better, if not fatter. To quote Lester, “watching so many episodes of TV together is just orgasmic!”

Inertia Inertia Inertia

2008-05-28T22:06:00.004+08:00

Yesterday I accompanied four 15 year old SCGS girls and a 40 year old uncle on their trek around Singapore to perform tasks at particular checkpoints. It was quite fun, except that I had to brave the scorching sun and merciless rain altogether on the same day. Seriously, the weather is pretty freaky these days.

Alright, enough bitching. Despite the bad weather and all, we did manage to meet some celebrities along the way. It was quite cool, I mean, what are the odds of meeting Vivian Lai - one of the prettiest and hottest mums in mediacorp - on the street?

Here’s a photo with her and me and two other mediacorp losers and what’s her name again? Audrey? Or Deborah?

Then today I went shopping with Tian at Orchard. I didn’t get anything for myself since Giordano decided not to give me a discount for my shirt. But Tian got herself a cool tee from Bossini.

The shirt is super cool because it’s black and it has a really ‘bling’ tie made of little silver sparkles. Girl if you’re reading this you’ll have to model and take a photo of yourself in that shirt. It’s a great steal.

BFFs

But now that I’m at home, I don’t feel like doing anything productive. In fact, I haven’t done anything productive save a few questions on differentiation. Oh man, inertia sucks. I should start mugging fast! Before it’s too late!

Chem Bondage here I come!

All Hail Alexander Graham Bell!

2008-05-26T19:39:00.001+08:00

Alert Human Rights Council! My basic human rights have been infringed: this morning, at 6 a.m., I was woken up by Elizabeth’s sms. Hey, a man has got his right to a night’s worth of peaceful, undisturbed sleep, especially since he had only gone to bed the previous night at 1.30 a.m. in the morning!

Alright, it was partially my fault; I left my phone on the night before and I had asked her for a haversack so it is only reasonable that she texts me to find out about the specifics. But perhaps not at 6 a.m. in the morning when I’m feeling all groggy and crappy.

After that little incident with Eliz, I went back to bed to continue my dream, a dream that is filled with sugar and spice and everything nice. It was all good and cherry for a while, until a stupid call woke me up. I picked up the phone, hoping that it was someone with good news for me. But it wasn’t. It was, in fact, one of those stupid China scams – that totally pissed me off.

Do these people have nothing better to do than to try to con people in the morning? Seriously, do something productive. Learn a skill. Develop a hobby. Or, if the bitch cares about her life, she can run back to China and hide behind 1.3 billion asses because I am so going to break that bitch’s ass when I see her. I don’t like to be woken up by a cheesy con.

So, that was my rather eventful morning. Nothing beats interrupted sleep. I couldn’t really go back to bed after listening to that shrill, Chinese accented voice. So I decided to drag my ass to Hougang to see my dermatologist. The clinic was brimming with people by the time I got there so I had to wait for a pretty long time. Unlike what was mentioned in the GP CT passage, I did not have any rumination. All I thought was alright, so here I am in this room filled up sick people and the only thing I have to entertain myself with is a lousy set of atomic structure notes; my life is great.

Like any fallible human being, I longed for human contact and so I smsed Aunty Julia. She managed, in her feeble attempt, to entertain me for a while. But she did prevent me from indulging in violent tendencies. Great job! Otherwise a car or a wall would be wildly decorated with graffiti.

Then I went home to watch One Tree Hill. But I got really tired in the afternoon because of the lack of good quality sleep the night before. So I took a nap to escape the afternoon heat, only to be woken up by my dear Aunty’s sms. How lovely! And all my life I wanted to be the popular guy who is constantly courted by girls. But I kind of missed the fine print that says, Beware! You might not be able to have a good night’s sleep for the rest of your life.

Since it was freakishly hot and I couldn’t return to dreamland, I went down for a swim. It was enormously refreshing. Hooray! Actually, if this keeps up, I would become a better swimmer than I am now. So people, feel free to call/sms me at around 430 p.m. Your interruptions will be greatly appreciated.

SaiGang Friends

2008-05-24T23:21:00.000+08:00

Alright, the urge suddenly hit me. I must write this: I LOVE LION DANCERS!

Alright, that was a little out-of-the-blue. I think it’s because of the music, again. Damn I am easily influenced.

Last night I was pretty moody after bridge trials - it sucked. So I talked to the two most caring and loving girls I met in RJ till about a little after 1. Oh man, they really lifted my spirits, so much so that I became a little high and could not stop talking. Thanks man!

Okay, I am totally looking forward to LD BBQ on the second of June. I cannot wait! I want to hang out with the guys now. Now Now Now!