moved here


LIFE is short and unpredictable.

R.I.P Nim
Tired at 130am

Sometimes, you can never get what you want.

Sometimes, you just aren't working hard enough.

But most of the time, you'll not know which is which.
Already Too Tired to Even Sigh

Somehow, things never get easy for me.

Like a enormously endothermic reaction, everything that I do must be faced with huge resistance. While I can try my best to overcome the barrier each time, I only possess a finite amount of energy, which I feel will be depleted sooner than I expect.

Sometimes, I just want things go be a little simpler and a little easier. Just so I can have the time and energy to enjoy the beautiful things in life. I don't suppose that is too muh to ask for. 

Perhaps my misfortunes are the consequence of my own follies. Case in point: had I not applied for the ntu scholarship, I would not need to be pressurized by financial constraints to go there. Perhaps I'll just need to find some other way to finance my university education at NUS (which already is a second best choice since I really want to go to Virginia). I try to keep the faith that I am not so unlucky/undeserving that I would have to go to a school that is worst than my sub-optimal choice. But then again, circumstances often triumph over whatever little faith that I have left. 

If there were a supernatural being who actually believes in free will, I hope he would let me do what i want, for this time, it's for the right reasons. Let me do what I do best, and I promise I'll return the favor somehow. If not, he can suck it.

Now, it would be most appreciated if you can give be an obvious sign by Monday. Thanks a lot. 



   
FUCK YOU WORLD

as it says.
Choose Chose Chosen... Not

I think I know what I am going to do in my life.

And yet I wonder if I had made the right choice; if that is really what I want and what I will excel in. 

Isn't it a little too early to know what I want? After all, it's a complicated and confusing world out there. 

I suddenly feel insecure about my choices and I wish there were a higher power to guide me along my journey. 

Imagine a blinding light exposing your destiny in front of you. Wouldn't that just be awesome. Yet, few have the gift of clairyovance.  Most of us just stumble along the way like blind mice, feeling our ways around this cruel and dangerous world. Like said mice, I have fallen into numerous potholes. As a result, I know where I shouldn't have gone. But I still haven't had the faintest idea of where I should head next! 

Oh fml.
Fweiluer

I think I have a poor stomach for uncertainty.

And a poorer aptitude for thinking on my feet.

And I hate that I cannot make good decisions quickly.

I resent myself for not being able to spin good stories spontaneously.

I think I failed terribly.

But every bad experience is a lesson learned.

Maybe I can try again next time.

Or perhaps the fates would be kind to me.

I only hope for the latter.